Thursday, November 20, 2014
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
Well with Washington state legalizing marijuana, I'd say they are really living up to their state motto...
I just happen to live right across the border in Oregon. I'm sure if Portland had their way, Oregon would be right behind them. Nobody works in Portland anyway so what's the issue?
I know Colorado has it legalized too but their already so high what does it really matter? Besides, how much can you really grow in an environment lacking in oxygen and changing from sunny and 70 to snowing in a matter of a few minutes.
But back to Washington. We drove over there for a hike not long ago and as we crossed the toll bridge over the Columbia River (yes, we have a large river separating us so that most of the stoners will drown trying to cross and the rest will drive off the side of the bridge trying to get across).
Anyway, as we passed into Washington, I half expected somebody to be greeting us at the border, "Welcome to Washington, here's your doobie..."
Amazingly that didn't happen. Nor did I find a state-wide shortage of Twinkies or Doritos. The mini-markets weren't standing-line only. Are you sure pot is legal here? I don't understand.
|The typical chip and snack aisle at a Washington grocery store|
|That's either pot smoke or they purchased the wood stove option on the car|
Now I'm not sure what all the fuss is about. Frankly, the wifey-poo and I take walks in Portland nightly and there is so much pot smell coming from one particular corner nightly that we think they're burning it as incense!
Thunk up by Ed at 11:45 AM
Monday, October 20, 2014
Do you think it is just me or are they a little miffed? I didn't know they made stamps (or fonts) that big. What they are really saying with this is from the old Monty Python and the Holy Grail movie..."I fart in your general direction"
So then we were walking through Whole Foods the other day (which my mother calls "Whole Paycheck"...but hey...unprocessed foods apparently cost more than chemical-laden fake foods so there you go). Anyway, I couldn't help but notice their pies:
"Forest Berry" pie? Really? This pie should cost like $100 because I've hiked through a lot of forests and I don't see a lot of berries growing in them. If this weren't just a marketing ploy it would take a LOT of effort to harvest enough "forest berries" to make a pie...
And finally, the gnomes have been trying to convince me that it would be quite funny to steal all of the rich home's security warning signs from their yards and then put them ALL on the lawn of the neighborhood dumpy-looking house. Sure, Mr. Rich House, nobody will break into your security-enabled home...but did you protect that warning sign? Noooope....
|Sure, the house is protected...but what if I steal your precious security sign?|
Thunk up by Ed at 10:11 AM
Sunday, October 12, 2014
Hey now...with Halloween just around the corner I thought, what can I do this year to scare the crap out of myself? Normally I just tune in to world affairs to do that but I thought I'd combine my love of travel with a novel money-making scheme.
Theme'd tours are all the rage and I love to travel and with Halloween here, how about a creep-you-out world tour of abandoned amusement parks. Seriously...these places are just creepy and you'd be surprised how many failed ones there are. Take a virtual tour...
|Go ahead...venture on in to "Paul's" mouth...|
|Yeah...the ghosts don't drive very well...|
|Not what I want to run into on a cold dreary day just at dusk...|
|This is where I let you venture on...all-by-yourself...|
|Go ahead...have a LOT of Fun in this funhouse...|
|No telling what you're gonna find as you head up the hill...|
|Palace or last resting place? Go on in and see...|
|I could hire people to hide in these and scare you but the ghosts probably handle that fine|
|This is where I leave you blindfolded and alone counting to 100...|
|I'd say "Fool" Zone would be more appropriate now|
|Sit on down...we'll put on "The Shining" or "The Ring" and you can watch by yourself as it gets dark|
|Everbody loves abandoned abused over-sized clown heads|
|Dare you to sit down and see if the ride starts up on it's own...|
|Any fortune told from here can't be good...|
|Go right on in, order up...|
|Hey, if you wait awhile, the ghost coaster will arrive...|
|Hide and seek time...come find me...|
|Take a soak and relax...|
|Rumor has it Hitler was treated at this facility during WWI...bonus...|
Thunk up by Ed at 1:40 PM
Wednesday, October 08, 2014
Okay, this is topical and we'll all forget about it next week when the next "squirrel" diverts our ADD attention to some other shiny object...
Apparently we have a "blood moon" right now. Other than mammals, I don't associate "blood" with anything else. I don't have blood cell phones, my lawn doesn't have blood grass, I don't hike in the forest among blood trees. So what is up with blood oranges? And now blood moons? Perhaps the current Ebola crisis has spread further than we realized?
When I was a kid we had full moons, no moons and every iteration in between. But all of a sudden, this generation feels the need to dramatize every simple nuance of things. Now we have "super" moons and "blood" moons.
What's next? Square moons? Are scientists going to tell us that every 179,000 years the moon morphs into a square? I don't know...
|Now if I saw THIS...then it might be a "Super" moon...|
|Come on, do you need more proof that this blood moon is attacking our cities?|
I think since we're already down the road of sensationalism, we might as well go all the way...how about:
- Black Hole nights where it's extra-ordinarily dark, not just dark. What if it is so dark we cannot see the stars? Then we could start selling special flashlights and headlights to handle such a phenomenon.
- Faucet rain where it isn't just a drop, it's like having a thick continuous stream of water dumping down on you. That would sell a lot of houseboats...
- Self-aware plants. Sort of like Treebeard in Lord of the Rings, the plants suddenly are not happy with their situation and start rebelling against us. Right out of a B-rate 1950s movie!
Thunk up by Ed at 10:00 AM
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
I know, I know. You looked at the title of this post and probably thought I did something great with this blog, right? Like have it dispense $20 bills every time you read the letter "a" in my post. Good feature, I know, but alas, I've redirected your $20 into my fruity rum drink fund instead.
|Feel free to cut this bill out of your monitor screen...|
|The debilitating effects of kool-aid cyclamates revealed....|
|Act now and we'll send you a second phone to use as a door stop or boat anchor...|
|I could bring back streaking as a fad...but who would notice?|
|Yeah...not very mobile|
Thunk up by Ed at 8:22 PM
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
But what Earthly good is it to use that phase at all? I mean really. You want $3750 for your piece of crap Plymouth Valiant? You put "or best offer" and you've just guaranteed that you won't get full price. You've already told them so.
Just who's best offer is it? It's certainly not yours. Yours would be some astronomical number above asking price. Theirs would be for "free". The actual price is somewhere in between and you've just given them an immediate coupon.
I guess you could jack the price up unrealistically in the first place and then expect the "best offer" to come in at what you wanted in the first place. That technique sometimes works in Pawn stores I suppose.
So next time you sell something...don't look stupid and add O.B.O to your item. Do like everyone else: Overprice it and sell it on eBay!
Thunk up by Ed at 12:59 PM
Monday, June 30, 2014
I've started up a new blog.
I know, I know. The semi-serious one I started fizzled out and is gone. The story telling one is there and sadly inactive. I kept it around because I might get back into fiction writing at some point.
No, this one is travel humor related. I keep traveling and wanted to venture out into that genre because I've been through the 10 million travel blogs out there and 9,999,998 are devoid of humor. Even I was devoid of humor after reading all those. Although there are some non-humor ones I do like.
The blog is called "Passport Obsession" and right now it is at www.passportobsession.blogspot.com but I'll make the grueling transformation to it's own domain name at www.passportobsession.com very soon (VE note...did it...about killed me but I did it). They don't make it easy to do that and so I need a couple of hours of total techno-geek concentration. I did it for this blog so I'm sure I can do it again. We'll see...
Meanwhile, I'll continue to post to here from time to time. There are just too many things that warrant a VE post I wouldn't be able to put on the new one anyway.
You know, stuff like this:
Thunk up by Ed at 2:49 PM
Friday, June 27, 2014
Now why didn't somebody think of this earlier? Of course...the reason your ass gets fatigued and sore on a bike seat is because the right butt cheek is always fighting with the left butt cheek.
It's like those two guys in that original Star Trek episode where one was black on the left side and white on the right and the other guy was the opposite. They never got along. The same is actually true of your butt!
Now, thanks to foreign technology, you can have a Berlin Wall go right down your ass crack while riding!
A personal suggestion for those that live in Portland, OR or San Francisco, CA and participate in their annual naked bike ride...I wouldn't recommend the white saddle...
Thunk up by Ed at 2:22 PM