Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Anagramamania and ancroynmonia

Whew! Now that the critical useless initial post is over and I can see how hideous my default format really is, I can move on to something totally useless. Yes, I read The DaVinci Code along with every other person on the planet capable of their own opinion. Ok, I saw the movie too. It wasn't a good choice though. I saw it in Guadalajara, Mexico. Oh...side note here. I think I should start a business that creates guacamole. I'll name it Guadalajara Guacamole just for the sheer joy of those that would have to either say or write the product name. But I digress...where was I? Oh yes, the DaVinci code. So first off, I did want to see the movie. I mean, the book was enjoyable, didn't everyone secretly hope the movie would be great too? I mean, they didn't screw up LOTR. There is hope in the movie industry. My first question before we went to the movie was whether this would be dubbed in Spanish? Knowing only the really essential Spanish words like "cervesa" probably wouldn't get me through the movie at the enjoyability and comprehension levels I'm accustomed to. "Oh no, rarely are movies dubbed here, it'll be subtitled in Spanish", she informs me. Great, let's go! Of course, I hadn't considered that half the flippin' movie is already in Italian and subtitled in English. That's fine if your in the United States (or even England for that matter). But if you're in Guadalajara (eating guacamole or not) you're watching the movie in Italian with Spanish subtitles. It's always the little things you don't quite think through that really provide life's entertainment, isn't it? Great theatre though. Every chair was a full leather recliner! They served food and liquor right to you. Try that at a Regal Cinema near you. Of course, this hasn't really brought me any closer to the useless musing I had decided to comment on in the first place, but I'll get there. Anyway, after seeing the movie and thinking about the book again, I realized that I had turned into an uncontrolable anagram zombie. I saw myself breaking down (do,no,nod,now,own,won) any word I seemed to look at and turn (nut,run,rut,urn) it into all of its other words. I suppose it's not as bad as turning into the acroynmonia zombie. That's the other little talked about disease where one takes a simple word (Works On Real Dummies) and turns it into either some sentence or phrase or title. The really serious inflicted victims of this will find themselves quickly trying to come up with one based on the letters on a passing vehicle. "GAJ 668" suddenly become "get a job". That Volvo with the license "CYM 291" is now forever known as "conservative yuppie mobile". I don't know if there is a cure for this, but I'm sure my doctor can find some pharmaceutical sponsered drug to take to cure it.