Wednesday, August 30, 2006

The burbs

The suburbs are like, so awesome. Not only do you get to live with the republicans and talk about how those damn democrats won’t let us privatize social security so we can make boat loads of money while the lower income and poor pay for it, but you also get that wonderful benefit of uniformity and consistency.

Camera one zooms in on a conversation coming from the mini van driving slowly down the road:

“Mommy, which one is our house?” the white middle-income girl with the designer Osh-be-gosh outfits ponders.
“Silly girl, why it’s the beige one,” retorts the non-working socialite mother still wearing her warm up suit aka pajamas.
“But mommy, they are all beige…”
“Oh honey, it’s the one with the garage prominently sticking out as the major feature on this particular architectural marvel.”
“But mommy, they all have garages sticking out…”
“Oh dearest little one, it’s the one with the Red Maple trees in the front”
“But mommy, they all have the same trees…”
“But sweety-poo, ours has only two”
“But mommy, all the other houses do too”
“Well little cupcake, our house is the one with the glow in the dark Santa, light up reindeer, and 40ft frosty out front”
“Oh, that one. But mommy, we are the only ones with our Christmas things out.”
“I know little biscuit eater, isn’t it fabulous? We’re the first ones this year to put up our Christmas decorations!!!”

Ah, the burbs....paradise!

1 comment:

House of Suz said...

They're out of touch too. A week doesn't go by here at work (in the burbs) where someone referrs to my neighborhood as "scary" or "dangerous". Let them think that, it'll keep them away.