Saturday, September 16, 2006

I know, I know

I’m a complete loser. What the hell was I thinking? I know; there are only 109 more shopping days until Christmas. I haven’t even started. The Hallmark ornaments are already out and now all the best ones are gonna be sold out. I will have missed out. My life will not be complete.

I haven’t made a Christmas list yet. I know. Now I’m going to be regifted that Paris Hilton Kinkajou chia pet when I could have gotten some really cool gadget that I didn’t know existed and somehow managed to survive my entire life without up to this point but now knowing about the gadget, suddenly life cannot go on without it.

I haven’t reserved my Christmas tree. I know. I could use an artificial one. Of course living in Tree town USA they’d run me out on a rail. Now there won’t be any great 9 foot Noble trees (which are the only trees that hold all those sacred Hallmark ornaments that now seem to weigh 3.2 pounds on average and need electrical plug ins). Instead, I’ll have to settle for the “ugly” tree. I’ll have to super glue and string up fake branches into the bald spots so it looks like a full healthy tree.

I haven’t purchased my Christmas bulbs. I know. Every year about 98% of the outdoor bulbs that worked the year before seem to suddenly not work anymore. I won’t find that out until they are put up though and without the early purchase of replacement bulbs, there won’t be anywhere in a 500 mile radius that has any more, leaving me to convert old strands to replace them with and causing me to have four greens in a row on a multi-colored décor.

And don’t even get me started about Halloween and Thanksgiving. I know. I’ve barely recooperated from Labor Day. Next thing you know daylight saving time will be over and it’ll be dark for like 18 hours a day.

1 comment:

Marcheline said...

The older you get, the shorter the time between holidays. This year everyone is getting homemade vinegar.

No, really. Homemade red wine vinegar.

Man, it was tough to pour all that red wine in the vinegar vat!