Friday, September 29, 2006

Modern Day Math


VE says it’s time for some new math. Why, when I was growing up in school there was all this talk about “new math”. I have no idea what that meant; probably some secret conspiracy theory to justify us having to buy more useless school books.

But seriously, it’s time to update those “If a car is traveling at 30mph….” scenarios. We need real life scenarios that help kids to cope with their future life. I offer up a few here:

Company A has 14,235 employees and takes over Company B by a leveraged buyout to appease the power hungry CEO mongers. If Company B has to lay off 45% of it’s workforce into a city holding at a steady 17% unemployment, how many employees were layed off? Bonus question: How many of these employees will be forced to work for Walmart and get no insurance benefits?

To satisfy Bob’s meth addiction, he robs houses. Each house yields a 30% return on stolen goods. Each house yields about $3000 in value. If Bob’s Sudafed must be obtained in Washington now because Oregon enacted a prescription Sudafed law, that means that Bob must travel 17 miles out of his way in order to purchase his drugs. If the tax rate in Washington is 4.2 percent and gas prices have stabilized at 2.80 per gallon, how many houses will Bob have to rob in order to make his 10,00 capsule order at 9.95 per 20 capsule box?

If President Bush has 848 days left in office and his stupidity is increasing by a factor of 1.5% per week, just how stupid will he be by the end of his term?

If a normal free range chicken produces 14 eggs per week and a chemically treated chicken produces 27 eggs per week, how many eggs will a cloned chicken developed from illegal stem cell research lay?

1 comment:

Starlet said...

You make $30 per day. Your cost of living is $170 per day. How long can you tolerate this before you resort to petty crime? He he. There is probably an equasion for that one.