Monday, September 25, 2006

Variants on the Big D

If you haven’t been divorced, you should. It’s an exciting time full of stress, loss, and anger. If you have kids involved, even more fun. The sheer entertainment never ends!

One of the newest concepts for living arrangements is to not sell the primary home and for the divorced parents to keep the kids in the house and instead of the kids moving from home to home; the parents simply move back and forth from an apartment when they don’t have custody.

I was explaining this to a co-worker and they though that would be awkward to share an apartment. That wasn’t what I was saying, but I thought, hey, check out the benefits for those parents in the bitter divorce:

- It’s economical; only one apartment and the kids house rather than two apartments
- You never actually see them because one of you is always in the kid’s home

Plus, look at all the fun you can have:
- Each time you transition; you short-sheet the bed
- Eat up all the food so she has to go shopping
- Throw in the reds with her whites when doing laundry
- For fun, change the frequency of the garage door opener signal
- Reset the alarm clock for 3:00am
- Snoop through all her emails and phone calls
- Leave your porn laying around

The entertainment possibilities are endless!

6 comments:

kanrei said...

I smell a sitcom...
Get to work =D

markjamesmurphy said...

Bang other people in the apartment. Videotape it. Leave THAT lying around.

House of Suz said...

There you go Mark, always thinking!

So if the kids get mad at you do they tell you to get out of THEIR house? Kids have too many special privelages as it is, I say make it harder on them, not easier. But then again, that's probably why I don't have kids too.

Anonymous said...

I've actually seen this, and I think it's completely appropriate. Think of all of the objections you have to moving from home to home every week or so and then realize that's what you're doing to your kids.
Better the parents, the people who fucked things up, bear that burden than the kids.

screetus said...

That just might work! The pranks, I mean.

Starlet said...

I actually know divorced couples that continued to live together and one just moved in the spare bedroom. Then you could actually bang your dates IN the house. That would be REALLY annoying! Like college all over again!