Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Happy Halloween...let's be safe out there


VE's rules for Halloween...

1. Always wear your full body condom costume; you can never be too safe.
2. Avoid the home made crap. Nice jesture but it's probably laced with something poisonous
3. For maximum neighborhood coverage, wear your inline skates.
4. Trick or treat the upper middle class neighborhoods; they give you full sized stuff a lot
5. Don't get greedy and go for the upper class; they don't even have kids; you'll lose out!
6. Try not to eat all your candy the first night; multi-colored vomit is not a good thing when it is coming from you.
7. A pillowcase is still the best candy bag; it won't rip or get a hole if it gets wet and it holds a shit load of candy.
8. Don't whimp out early, trick or treat late too; that's when people really start to unload the excess candy they don't want hanging around the house.
9. It's a holiday, get laid! No, not the kids you sickos, the adults!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

We always have a couple of cars parked where they don't belong and kids that don't live here are out working the neighborhood.

House of Suz said...

If you forget to buy candy, just take a quick tour around the block in costume and "re-gift".

Variant E said...

Suz! How could you re-gift!!! I like that idea though. Maybe I could go around the neighborhood to get stuff to put on ebay too...

Iamnot...did you let the air out of their tires to welcome them to the neighborhood?