Thursday, October 05, 2006

Pulled the Drug right out from under me


Hey, if your reading MY blog, then you are definitely bored. It’s time to play ‘Connect the Drug’. I mean, come on, there are so many prescription drugs out there, who knows what half of these damn things do. Even the commercials these days don't mention what on Earth their drug is for. They just say "contact your doctor".

Your mission Jim, should you decide to accept it, is to figure out which drug is for which problem (draw the lines because mine aren't correct…but don’t draw on your plasma screen…that would be stupid and I haven’t identified drugs for stupidity in this particular test):

ENABLEX....................High Cholesterol
TRICOR...................... Overactive Bladder
REMERON................. Hay Fever
PREDNISONE........... Antidepressant
PENERGAN............... Acne

Now, bonus question: What drug has all of these side effects?

Chills, Fever, Multiple Organ Failure, Nausea, Hypotension, Respiratory Failure, Vomiting, Dyspnea, Sepsis, Diarrhea, Headache, Heart Arrest, Hypertension, Infection, Kidney Failure, Abdominal Pain, Anemia, Gastrointestinal Hemmorrhage, Rash, Chest Pain

(I’m not making that last one up either, these are the actual side effects in order from the most common to least common of a single drug. You gotta really wonder what is worth curing when Multiple Organ Failure is the third most common side effect. “Yeah, he got rid of that twitch in his left eye…too bad his liver, kidney, and gall bladder gave out in the process….”)

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I take 3 mg of "Fukitol" every day. The main side effect is apathy.

Kurt said...

There's a drug you can take to kill toenail fungus, but you have to take it for several months and it might cause kidney damage. Huh?