Tuesday, October 03, 2006

What's up with that?

Just some observations I've had recently. I don't know why I think of these things. It just happens.

You know the old joke about the fact that hot dog buns come in one sized package and hot dogs in another sized package. Well, I recently realized that all those cutesy themed kids bathroom toothbrush holders do not fit the toothbrushes that they make today. Yes, the holes in these damn things are barely the size of a number two pencil whereas the thickness of a toothrush these days is about three feet in diameter. I think they actually sell finger extenders in the box so that one can still hold them.

Ever look at the whole concept of swimsuits? For women, I believe that they average at least five butt cheek adjustments of their suit per minute. I’m not exaggerating, I counted! I was thinking; just get thongs and you won’t have to worry about that anymore. I’ll be happier and you’ll be happier. Then I started thinking, hmmm, we are the most obese nation in the world. Perhaps that isn’t such a good idea. No, for those; please do adjust that suit. In fact, just don’t even go out in one in the first place thank you! Oh, and then men’s suits. Those cool baggy suits that are so comfortable lounging around the beach in….is it a design feature that as soon as you come out of the water they turn into penis cling wrap? And ever done a lot of walking around after swimming in the ocean with those baggy suits? You don’t walk around for too long; you’re chaffed to the point of hamburger after about 20 minutes. Of course, the alternative is Speedo style and sorry, that isn’t going to happen thank you. Let the Europeans look stupid. Besides, thinking that we are the most obese nation….well, I said it before so you get where I’m going.


markjamesmurphy said...

penis cling wrap + shrinkage = self esteem issues

Anonymous said...

Living in Miami I can tell you that even suits that are not thongs rapidly become them on the big boned here. There should be a law that states a minimum coverage of clothing for the morbidly obese.

House of Suz said...

I was with you on the thong idea (for personal comfort) until I got a mental image of "someone I know" in one and I threw up in my mouth a little.