Saturday, November 11, 2006

Legal Two-Step

You know the old product label such as you might find on your clothing that says “Do not bleach” or some other warning. Ok, good advice. But in these litigating times we have an ever increasing need to apply warnings for all the stupid people out there. Here is a sampling:

"For external use only!" -- On a curling iron

"Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer

"This product not intended for use as a dental drill." -- On an electric rotary tool

"Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven

"Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller.

"Do not turn upside down." -- On the bottom of a supermarket dessert box

"Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV

Ok, but what about the stupid people manufacturing products with these labels:

"Warning: May contain small parts." -- On a frisbee

“This product is not to be used in bathrooms." -- On a Holmes bathroom heater

"For indoor or outdoor use only." -- On a string of Christmas lights

And finally, under the category of “No Shit”:

"Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

oh you mean thermometers aren't interchangeable??! Shit...