Thursday, November 16, 2006

No theme today...just nonsense


You know what I want to see more of? Pets in Halloween costumes. I just can’t get enough. Pet psychiatrists, pet whisperers, pet lawyers, pet everthing! Let’s reverse the trend. Maybe there should be human butt sniffing parks. How about an amusement area where we can run around and pee on bushes and fire hydrants and stuff. Maybe a giant rug clawing apparatus or something.

My friend at work said to me the other day that while she felt bad about my divorce a year ago and all, she had to admit that I am much more entertaining these days. It seems all my very married suburban friends live vicariously through me now as I wander my way through the dating world and entertain them with everything from first date nightmares to Penthouse Forum worthy escapades that they think I’m making up! It’s a lot of responsibility to entertain these poor mundane married souls. But VE is up to the challenge!

Hey, heard about these deep fried Coca-Cola balls that are hot at fairs and festivals right now? Thank goodness somebody created those because I was worried that there just weren’t enough unhealthy fat-asses in America quite yet. We’re porkin’ out for sure, but its quality innovation like this that will not only allow us to talk the talk but waddle the waddle!

7 comments:

markjamesmurphy said...

"Maybe there should be human butt sniffing parks."


that is one of the funniest sentences I've ever read.

Anonymous said...

If you have races where we drag our butts on the ground using our arms to move I am in!

Variant E said...

Now your thinking like a dog. I like that idea.

Anonymous said...

How come every blog I read today mentions coca-cola. Is it like a holiday or something??? Yeah, that shit is bad for you, never ever drink it unless it includes alcohol. Seriously.

House of Suz said...

How does one go about frying a soft drink? I bet those plastic 2 liter bottles melt.

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