Monday, May 14, 2007

Life – A New Reality

Don't worry...I'm continuing to monitor the photo caption contest post from earlier...

This week (and maybe longer) we are going to take a realistic look at life. I know what you are thinking already: “VE that is a really deep subject. Isn’t that a little too serious for your blog?” Yes, dear reader, that is too deep for me to cover. Why the last time I went deep I was…err, never mind!

No, I’m starting a series of posts and we’re going to revise the Milton Bradley Game of Life into a more realistic game. Come along for the ride…

Ok, I’ll admit it. The game board itself is a pretty good representation of life: cluttered, overly busy, too much stimuli, seemingly random choices to make. But the more you play it the more you realize that you’ve pretty much done it all before and you keep landing on the things that aren’t that much fun.

No, it’s not the board design that is the problem; it’s pretty much everything else.
I know, let’s start with the game pieces themselves.

WTF? Is that like the plastic representation of a Buick station wagon? I mean if you want to stay current, you’re going to have to make the vehicle an SUV or (God forbid) a mini van.

Surely we could have some options here. For one thing, we’re going to have to buy and upgrade cars throughout the course of the game; making sure you always buy new so you are in debt and lose all depreciation value later.

In the deluxe game you are going to have to be limited to certain choices throughout the stages of the game:

- You start with either the Harley, hatchback Hyundai or the used Honda with 168,000 miles and the dented fender.
- As you get a job, you move on to the tricked out sport car or pickup.
- After marriage comes the sedan or the SUV.
- If you end up with kids, then you are required to buy the mini-van or Suburban.
- Later in the game you’re forced to own two cars; perhaps even three. You can never have enough cars in America you know.
- Toward the end of the came, you’ll have to cash in again for the PT Cruiser
- Right as you are reaching the very end you’ll have to move on to the Lincoln Towncar or Cadillac sedan.

Now on to these plastic people. Ok, plastic people will work…it fits. But come on, the last time I saw that much light blue and pink was at a bad wedding in the 70s! Where is the realism and marketing sense? They should have articulated plastic figures and an endless supply of fashion options (purchased separately of course…because that is life!). - For the guys, you could start up bald (you do in life), add a toupee (your going to anyway), and end up bald (by then you don’t give a crap anyway).

- For the gals, there is the 480 piece wig set with every conceivable hairstyle to place on your game piece.
- Oh and those children. You’re going to have to include the babyseat, the walker, the endless toys, the diaper bag. Let’s get real here Milton Bradley!

Next up…a new spin on Life

4 comments:

Shawna said...

I LOVED this game growing up, played it all the time, really, I did. Wish I had it now...

House of Suz said...

Toward the end of the game isn't the dad supposed to get a sports car and a new girlfriend the same age as his daughter?

Kurt said...

Can't you win everything at the end with just one spin, or am I thinking of something else?

Variant E said...

Suz - your thinking of the MID LIFE game.

Kurt - Was that really a rule or was that one of those house rules? I'll have to check. I'm not to the end of life yet (thank God!)