Wednesday, May 16, 2007

A New Start on Life

Welcome back to part 3. In order to actually play the game of life you have to start. I know; there are a lot of people out there that are either too afraid, too stupid or too lazy to even start. But don’t worry, they are also too busy breeding to go out and buy our game.

But there is something seriously unrealistic with the start of the original game:

Start College or Start Career? Huh? Seems there ought to be just a few more starts here. How your game starts sort of depends on where you come from. I suggest a more comprehensive start. It’ll be a supplement board since it probably will not fit on the main board. Use it to get to the point where you are essentially established. You know; that point where you begin to utterly repeat daily life over and over until your mind is so numb you wonder how this can be life at all and wonder how it all got this way. It was at that point! Let’s take a look at our supplement:
Yeah, I know, it looks like one of those carnival slides with the potato sacks. Forget about design (and no, the text isn't real on this full prototype), let's take a closer look at each of the various life start tracks (oh, and I split the tracks in half so they would fit in a picture better):
Ok, as you can see; life just isn’t quite so easy when you start from the very bottom


And while you have a couple of options as you move up, it’s still tough to really get started.

I could show you the other start tracks but you get the idea. They are:
- Redneck Inbred Start (you’ll be lucky to get off the ridge)
- Low Income White person start (good luck getting in school)
- Low Income Minority start (treated like crap but get the scholarships)
- Middle Income start (nerds ascend)
- Upper Income Suburbia Start (sure, you have the car but lose the girl)
- Celebrity Kid Start (sent back from college for over-partying)
- Born Rich Start (who are we kidding, go straight to billionaire acres)

By the way, if you cannot see the game square text, click on the picture for a bigger view. If you cannot see it then, get a life and buy a better monitor!

Next up: Life is not money

4 comments:

Kurt said...

Hey, they gave this low income white person loans to go to school. Of course, back then, tuition was only $363 a quarter.

Variant E said...

Yeah Kurt, I guess there are exceptions. You must have looked really desparate!

Scary Monster said...

Glad you be offering us a newer better non-wonderbread version of this game. Can me trade me suv in for a shopping cart?

Variant E said...

SM, would you prefer the old bucket style carts or the newer two tiered carts? Of course you suv was $27,350 when you bought it new and is now valued at $1,475. Welcome to real life!