Friday, May 18, 2007

The POOP Festival 2008

I’m going! Aren’t you? What!!??? You’ve never heard of the POOP Festival? No, this isn’t some turd collecting society. No, it’s not a Mom’s club potty training seminar either.

We’re talking about bringing back four distinct bands for one venue. Just wait until you hear the line up; then you’ll know why!

Partridge Family. Yep, we are doing the reunion! Let’s bring ‘em all back because they were so awesome, and such good musicians too! And to show off their versatility, they’ll be trading off between Metallica and Enya songs for every other song. Awesome! We’ve worked hard to pull this off what with Danny’s bail and rehab, getting a release from the retirement home for dear old Mom and then finding some of the others over in Obscureville and such.

Ozzy Ozbourne. That’s right. He’s back and like you’ve never ever seen him before. Ozzy will be performing sober for the first time in his career! What stranger events could take place than that?!! Well, with Ozzy around, you never really know.

Osmonds. Who wouldn’t be excited about this? We’ve got Donnie, Marie and the gang all back together and ready to belt out some traditional Mormon folk songs. Yes, they’ll be singing “I’ve got 10 wives” and “99 bottles of beer I can’t have” “We built this City (in a religious pyramid scheme)” among other favorites.

Procol Harum. Oh yeah, you remember their big hit from 1967 “A Whiter Shade of Pale”. Yes, they’ve been working all these years to improve upon it. Now thanks to the myriad of dental whitening products, they’ve been able to give us “A Whiter Whiter Shade of Pale”.

4 comments:

Kurt said...

OMG. I love Yanni!

Scary Monster said...

Ozzy without drugs? Might as well change his name and play with the Osmonds.

Me wonders if Marie ever collected that million dollars from Larry Flynt.

STOMP.

Shawna said...

I saw Ozzy in 1992 or 1993 (can't remember which year, big shocker) at his

No More Tours Tour

I knew it was so not true then...Sharon needs to just let him take his drugs and die!

Scary Monster said...

Me saw Ozzy waaaay back when me were in "high"school. Funniest damn concert me ever saw. He sang crazy train while wearing a g-string with something that looked like a strawberry for his banana hammock. Damn near killed me and me friends.

STUBBED