Sunday, June 17, 2007

Been Thinking

VE has been thinking again. And you never know what you're going to get as a result.

The prequel I want to see: Teen Yoda. You know, the one where instead of being 800 years old he’s like 100 years old and cocky. Where his initial use of the force is to eliminate his pimples right before prom night. Perhaps he actually had a full head of hair and maybe he was even a darker color of green in his younger days! Or how about those Jedi mind tricks he used to play on his weak minded teachers…hilarious.

I think Cracker Jacks needs to rethink their whole free prize concept. Come on, lame tattoos and paper crap? That’s the best they can do? If I were running things, I’d create an elaborate treasure map that somehow works toward finding an online treasure by getting enough clues from the map…which by the way means buying a shitload of Cracker Jacks. I’m in the wrong business!

My son noted one of the draw bridges was up. I told him that perhaps it got stuck in the up position; that the up/down button wasn’t working. He thought they didn’t use an up/down button but that it was voice activated. Can you imagine what fun that would be? Somebody comes into the bridge control office and says “What’s Up?” and suddenly the bridge goes up wiping out cars in the process. Or they start talking about going Downtown and suddenly the bridge goes down on a crossing boat. No, probably not the best choice for bridge activation…

Maybe the next superhero movie they should do is “The Atom”. They could release it only on cell phone displays since it was the smallest super hero.

I think I’m going to move to Hollywood and open a villain shooting school. I should make a fortune teaching villains in movies how to shoot because dammit, they shoot thousands of rounds at the hero and somehow they incredibly miss every shot!

Why is the gas guage on a car the least accurate device in the frickin’ world? You mean with all this technology we cannot devise something a little more accurate. Don’t you love how it always suddenly drops from just under half a tank to near empty in like 20 miles when the top side of the guage from full to half seemed to last a lifetime? It’s a conspiracy I tell you!!


ADW said...

LMAO... I have had the same evil relationship with my gas gauge.

Jenny! said...

I think young cocky Yoda would be hot! I would do him!

Camille Alexa said...

I'm with jenny!; teen-rebel Yoda sounds mighty cool.

Shawna said...

I don't think I could "do" anything that was green...

Laughing so hard right now, you crack me up!

Kurt said...

I like how the manual for my car recommends I fill up when the tank reaches half empty. It says it's better for the fuel pump. Might I suggest you redesign the fuel pump?

Serena said...

I want to see baby teen-rebel Yoda, too!

I agree with you wholeheartedly about gas guages. It IS a vast and evil conspiracy. Nothing else explains it.:-)

Ed said...

adw - Yep, the gas guage gives me just that. Gas!

jenny - Careful; that's a lot of force!

littlebirdblue - Maybe he'd even give you his light saber to go steady.

shawna - you wouldn't even do green jello shots?

kurt - Good point. Sort of like how they recommend changing the oil every 25 miles so THEY can make more money.

sj - That's it. I'm going to call George (Lucas that is) and have a little talk about an upcoming teen Yoda movie.