Thursday, June 07, 2007

You Can't Stop the Fire

Yeah, so Billy Joel penned “We Didn’t Start the Fire” and added an important song to every bloggers top 10 worst lyric songs list. Why? It's like some high school crib note snippet thing.

But that was 1989 and here is the last set of lyrics to end out our crib notes history lesson:

Birth control, Ho Chi Minh, Richard Nixon, back again
Moonshot, Woodstock, Watergate, punk rock
Begin, Reagan, Palestine, terror on the airline
Ayatollolah's in Iran, Russians in Afghanistan

"Wheel of Fortune" , Sally Ride, heavy metal, suicide
Foreign debts, homeless vets, AIDS, Crack, Bernie Goetz
Hypodermics on the shores, China's under martial law
Rock and Roller Cola Wars, I can't take it anymore

Well, this is 2007 and I got to wondering what old Billy would have added to his song to cover the last 18 years? Here’s my version:

Mandella free, spotted owl in tree
Simpson’s start their comedy
Yelstin, Tyson, Nickelodeon, Kevorkian,
Exon Valdez, Rodney King
Desert storms our latest thing

Dahmer, Leno, Clinton, Ross Perot
Dan Quayle and his potatoe
Clinton wins, Mall of America
Madonna in Erotica

Waco, Spam, Internet
Monica stabbed at the net
Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell
Savings and Loan scandal

Nafta, Grunge, Schindler’s List
Tonya clubs, Corbain missed
Netscape, Blair Witch, Foreman back on top
Yahoo, Ebola, Selena shot

Oklahoma City Bombing, OJ Trial
No more 55 made us smile
Unabomber, Everest Deaths
Computer beats Kasparov in chess

The Onion, Hale-Bopp, Heavens Gate
Southpark, Bird Flu, Mad Cow fate
Diana’s death, Woolworths gone
Hybrid cars, China gets Hong Kong

Titanic, Viagra, Smoking bans
Harry Potter, Lewinski, Seinfeld ends
Mark McGuire hits 62
George Michael caught in the loo

Google, Matrix, Gretzky gone
Napster, Kosovo, Star Wars I
Euro, Woodstock, Y2K scare
Who Wants to Be a Millionaire

Peanuts ends, Genome begins
Florida recount but George Bush wins
Space tourists, Andrea Yates
Baltimore Tunnel Fire, Stem Cell Debates

9/11, Anthrax letters
Bonds 72 home runs betters
Ipod, Enron, Afghan war

Laci Peterson is no more

Homeland Security, Iraq War, and SARS
Jackson arrested, Suicide bomber cars
Steward indicted, hands-off laws
Euro Heat Wave, Superbowl Jackson drops our jaws

Saddam capture, prison torture, Darfur
Ken Jennings 75 game Jeopardy tour
Asia Tsunami, Global Warming, African Aids
New Pope, ID’d Deep Throat, IRA ends their raids

Live 8, Katrina, Star Wars Ends
Paris riots, Armstrong retires with 7 wins
Cheney shoots, Gibson gets caught
Fidel steps down, London Terrorist plot

Britney Spears under shears
Paris with her jail fears...

And lots of verses I’ve probably missed and lots of verses to come. Wow, we've been some busy bees haven't we?

10 comments:

Jenny! said...

Wow, that is like crazy how good your memory is...i forgot about tons of those things! Or, did you cheat???

Shawna said...

Yeah, I was gonna ask the same thing, did ya cheat?

Variant E said...

Jenny/Shawna - Gosh, 112 highly public events spread out essentially in order over the last 18 years. I guess I'm flattered that you even considered I would have the capability to remember all of that in order. Alas, I came up with about 80 of these on notes, and then filled in the rest through research. Wouldn't it be curious to know which ones I did remember and which ones I supplemented? For example I did remember the computer beating the chess master and some of the other obscure ones on the list while I also missed huge obvious ones like the Oklahoma City bombing. I guess in the end, the post was sucessful if it made you reflect on how much crazy shit has occurred since that song came out.

Anne said...

I've been thinking about that for years, how Mr. Joel should write two more stanzas to that song and wonder what he'd include. (I'm guessing two because his other stanzas cover 10 years each.) E, we think too much alike, you just write it better than I.

Jenny! said...

I'm glad you didn't come up with all of those on your own...it would have made me feel very very dumb!

Theresa said...

Well now, that's just such a cheerful song ;) I think we'd be better off not remembering quite a few of those events.

Variant E said...

Theresa - That's all you get on the news though! Nothing makes headlines but bad stuff. Guess that is why I don't watch the news at all.

Hale McKay said...

I'm reading backwards....

I loved this parody and all those great verses. I thought the "Downtown/Chatline" one was good. This was fantastic.

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