Monday, July 16, 2007

Payment Due in Full please...

As Suz pointed out, I was a little premature in posting that things were going ok. Apparently, there needs to be a certain level of suffering with any trip I make.

Seems that during my longest flight; a lovely 12 hour flight from Dubai to New York I had the added benefit of food poisoning!

Yes, take another look at that lovely spacious airport bathroom. Now try to imagine spending 6 hours of a 12 hour flight stuck in one. Yes, I'm not exageratting here. 6 full hours suffering and puking in an airport bathroom. Good thing it was a big plane and had plenty of bathrooms!

First of all, let's summarize my lovely return trip:

5 hour flight from Nairobe to Dubai
9 hour layover in Dubai airport from 11pm to 8:30am
12 hour flight from Dubai to New York
4 hour layover in New York airport
6 hour flight from New York to Portland, OR

Yes folks, that is a lovely 36 hours of airports and airplanes without break. Oh, and across 11 time zones too. Not a pleasant itinerary even when feeling good. An absolute nightmare when you aren't.

Was it the airplane food? The fast food at the Dubai airport? Well, whatever it was, I got only 3 hours sleep on the long flight when I suddenly felt nascious. To the horror of those sitting next to me, I requested the airline attendant to bring me a couple of air sick bags.

Good thing she did. I made use of one not 5 minutes later. Nothing like attracting attention to yourself by puking in an air sick bag! Thank God I had an aisle seat.

Suffice it to say that when you have thrown up everything to the point of blood and you've only had 3 hours sleep, you are a bit weak. The effort to exit the plane, get my bag, go through immigration and customs, hike over to the next terminal, get my ticket, recheck my bag, and get to my gate was about as challenging for me as climbing Mt. Everest! If I hadn't been able to lay on the floor at my gate in NY for 3 hours, I don't know that I'd have made it home.

Oh, and for the record, one other lovely payment for the fun of the rest of the trip: Fever blister. Yes, right after arriving in Zanzibar, the sun must have kicked in and I got a fever blister. What's that you ask? Well, sometimes referred to as a cold sore; what it actually is is fucking Herpes. Ok, not the genital kind thank God. But I can thank my ex for joining the 80 percent of Americans that have this. All it really means is that I get a blister on my lip about every 3 to 4 years. They suck too. If you don't take something or treat them, they can take a full two weeks to heal and make you look like some kind of leper in the mean time. The lip is not a good location to try to have scab up and heal. Fortunately, they have wonderful drugs that practically eliminate this occurance from happening now. Unfortunately, my pills were left at home. So I got to be leper face for the majority of my stay in Zanzibar. More atonement suffering!

So I can honestly say, it is good to be back. A fun trip that I have now more than paid for.

Next up, finally....some photos.


Kurt said...

Doesn't this make you a member of some sort of Mile High club?

Carla said...

I was sick once on a flight and I pray it doesn't ever happen again, no fun...I can't imagine 6 hours though. You must've been really sick. Hope you've recovered.

Gnomeself Be True said...

I feel much better now.
I was concerned that you were having much more fun than you deserved.

House of Suz said...

Well, I'm not gonna say it....

Perhaps your boasting that nothing too terribly bad happened angered the travel gods. Never piss off the travel gods, they'll lose your luggage.

ADW said...

I got sick on a train once. A train that I was on for 18 hours. With an infant. Picture holding a 6 month old baby on your lap while your ass explodes into a train toilet and then figuring out what to do with her when you are puking. Good fun!!!

Shawna said...

Mine's not as excruciating, but one year I was headed to San Diego for X-mas to visit my sisters and nieces. Layover in Denver (yes, this is when the $50 extra for direct was too much for my pocketbook) for a few hours. I was sick when I got on the plane in Dallas, so I took way too much cold medicine. I was feeling NO PAIN when I arrived in Denver for my 2 hour layover. So I decided to go to the bar and have a couple of pints. Got McDonald's to eat right before the plane took off. 10 minutes into the flight, the beer and the cold medicine met, and weren't happy with eachother. I spent the remainder of the 1.5 hour flight puking my guts out in the bathroom. It was so gross. Think that disgusting airplane bathroom made it worse! hehehe

Camille Alexa said...

OOohh--photos, YES!

Ed said...

kurt - I'm sure there is a list somewhere

carla - Yes, fully recovered now, thanks.

iamnot - One can only have so much fun before it all collapses

suz - I know, I know. I should have listened

adw - That doesn't sound like fun

shawna - Ewww...McVomit

camille - Ok, ok, photos

Jenny! said...

Oh, that sucks like no other! I can't wait ot see pictures!

Serena said...

Oh, no! Getting sick and the flight from hell and the fever blister all sound dreadful. Hope you're feeling better by now.

Anne said...

I'm glad you're back, i've missed your posts, glad you're feeling better now.

Arlene said...

Holy crap, I will never again complain about my plane rides!!!