Thursday, August 30, 2007

Bushopoly

Hey everyone, put your creativity caps on and play along...

I think together we have just enough time to make a boatload of money. I know what you’re thinking: “But VE, how?”

Well thanks to this wonderful trend that Monopoly has been doing, I think we can make our own special version. Let’s call it Bushopoly. It’s not a new term, but our game will end up unique. I’ll explain how it all works.

First of all, those Monopoly people are very clever. What to do to the world’s most popular game to keep selling them? Why just redo the game on some theme. You’ve seen them. There’s Monopoly New York, Simpson’s Monopoly, Harley Davidson Monopoly. You name it, there seems to be a Monopoly version for it.

Thus Bushopoly!

Now first of all, I’m thinking we need to convert the railroads to something a little more Bush-like. Here’s what I think would be appropriate:

I mean can’t you seem him doing that with enough time?

Free Parking? That needs to be appropriately changed to this:

And the Go To Jail and Jail squares. Well, jails are so un-Bush. How about the Guantanamo Bay Detainee facility? Yeah, that works.

And here’s where you can help contribute too:

Ok, let’s see. Those boring utilities need to be changed as well. Any ideas on those?

How about those irritating Luxury Tax and Income Tax squares? You honestly think a proper Bushopoly game would have a luxury tax? Hell, he’d probably give tax breaks for that!

What about the properties? I thought about having Boardwalk and Park Place as Iraq and Afganahstan or maybe Iraq and Iran (I mean you know he would LOVE to start invading there too). But what about all the other properties? Maybe instead of properties they should just be the Bush cronies he’s had on his staff that have caused this country so much misery. Any suggestions on who rates what property position?

Oh, and the Chance and Community Chest cards? Yep. They’ll have to be changed too. How about one that says:

Come on people, use your imagination! Let’s have some fun and then we can make some money off HIM for a change.

20 comments:

Jenny! said...

He he he! Fantastic!

I am actually a bit disgusted with the Monopoly trend...before it was cool to find a fun one...now theres shit like SpongeBob and crap like that! Not cool anymore...Bushopoly is though!

Kanrei said...

This is awesome! I think that, for the board, Baltic needs to cost more than Boardwalk. Reverse the prices basically. The Luxary Tax gives you back 10% of your total worth. Jail should be based on your party- liberals go to jail, but conservatives have other priorities. Instead of the utilites I think we need sex scandals. Gay for waterworks and straight for electric. I like this idea quite a bit.

House of Suz said...

Turn the utilities into AT&T and Enron, since it is ever so appropriate.

Camille Alexa said...

You think you'd make money, but you'd spend it all on legal fees defending yourself from charges brought against you under the aegis of the PATRIOT Act.

Diesel said...

How about a card where you get to pass Go, but your children get left behind?

Kurt said...

The playing pieces should be updated. The car should be a Hummer.

goldennib said...

Don't forget we need to include illegal wire taping, weapons of mass destruction and a white house wedding.

Variant E said...

jenny - I agree; too much of a good thing is a bad thing

kan - I knew you'd like this. I like your ideas. We'll have to discuss more.

Suz - Enron. Good idea!

camille - That's why I'm changing my name to Bin Laden. Hey, they never found him!

diesel - Excellent idea. I like that one and am going to use it!

kurt - Your right. I like the hummer idea. Wonder what else for pieces?

goldennib - Yes, absolutely need to include those. Fortunately there are a lot of cards to update as well as the board. White House Wedding? Is that like a republican cover of Billy Idol's White Wedding?

Serena Joy said...

You'd need a WMD card, which would allow the person who drew it to invade the rest of the board and seize everybody else's properties. And may I suggest that two of the game pieces be a shotgun and a lawyer? Maybe a pacemaker, too.

ThatGreenyFlower said...

How about, instead of passing Go and collecting $200, you have to go through a TSA checkpoint at Go and leave your laptop with the boneheads who scan your carry-on?

ThatGreenyFlower said...

Oh, oh, oh!: Park Place and Boardwalk can be the Twin Towers. Then instead of building houses and hotels, you can build big huge memorials.

ThatGreenyFlower said...

One more: The Chance cards can become Global Warming cards.
- Buy new Hummer! Receive $100 incentive for making enough money to afford one.
- Remove smokestack scrubbers on the sly! Slip the EPA a tenner and they'll look the other way.
- Cut down green space to make crappy-ass houses that won't last 20 years! Receive large stacks of paper money and try to spend it all before you die.

Logophile said...

The paydays need to get progressively larger for the winning players and smaller for the people who are struggling.
After all, that only makes sense in Bushopoly, right?

ADW said...

I hate monopoly. For your next game board conversion, do Risk, that is my request....

Theresa said...

Don't forget the card that says, "Choke on a pretzel, lose one turn."

Variant E said...

sj - Oh, I like that seizure idea. It brings that elevated level of "screw you" that Monopoly needs. And good, more game pieces!

tgf - That laptop thing hit home for me. Security at the airport in Atlanta tried to steal my portable video player but I raised too much ruckus about why it didn't come through the machine and then as time went by, suddenly there it was. Nice anciliary money making racket they have! PS - You're right, definitely need some global warming cards. Perhaps the entire community chest could be renamed that. I mean really, what community is going to get it all besides the rich?

logophile - That's a good idea. I'll have to figure out the rules to do that one. You know, make it really unfair and painful!

adw - Of course you hate Monopoly, who doesn't? That's why it is so perfect for Bush. Risk! Now there is a challenge. I was a huge Risk player. Nothing like stabbing your friend in the back after a peaceful border agreement. How human is that?

theresa - Hey, I forgot about that! Good catch and definitely worth a card. You think we should say those were booze filled pretzels that caused him to pass out errr...I mean faint?

Uncivil said...

I think for any game involving politics, you would need a jar of vaseline as a game piece! Cause we're constantly getting screwed by the government!

padraig said...

All of the Community Chest cards should have two outcomes: if you don't own a monopoly, you pay. If you do own a monopoly, you get paid.

Public assistance money always should go towards the already-privileged, right?

Candie Bracci said...

Great!

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