Wednesday, August 22, 2007

It's Been Awhile

I see that the Eagles are releasing their first studio album in 28 years.

The official title is “The Long Road Out of Eden”. That is sort of a play on their last studio album from 1979 “The Long Road”.

VE has learned that the unofficial working title was “We’re Really Old Now And What Else Do We Have To Do So We Might As Well Get Together And Make A Whole Shitload Of Money From A New Album”. Rumor has it the title was too long so they went with that other Long Road one.

But let’s look at this a little bit closer. I mean, 1979 was a LONG time ago:

Sorry boys, we don’t make vinyl albums anymore.
Sorry boys, there aren’t any 45rpm records either
Sorry boys, 8-Tracks aren’t around now
Sorry boys, cassette tape is just not an option

Yes boys, we still have the billboard charts but instead of one there are now 847 different categories. You fall into the “All White Retro Classic Rock Reunion” category along with Van Halen and those other 70s bands still cashing in on their name.

I know what you’re saying: “But VE, they have the highest selling album of all time”. And perhaps that is enough to keep them popular for a good comeback. I mean, let’s take a look at some of the other big artists from 1979 and what their chances would be:

Cheap Trick (if they got back together about now their name would apply!)
Kenny Rogers (come on…he went chicken)
Foreigner (with all the illegal immigration issues today…forget it)
Gloria Gaynor (you know...the "I Will Survive" song....she didn't!)

9 comments:

Kurt said...

I'll just wait - it'll be on PBS 300 times.

Camille Alexa said...

I feel a little sorry for them.
It's a bit tragic really, isn't it?

Christie said...

Hey, Aerosmith came back from nowhere. And they are awesome. No, really, they are.

Scary Monster said...

Although you be lambasting one of the Monsters favorites, me can't help laffing about this..."Sorry boys, we don’t make vinyl albums anymore" Me guesses that iffin ya can't cut the mustard, ya can always lick the jar.

STOMP.

Jenny! said...

There are 847 catagories??? Is that a bit much or is it just me?

Variant E said...

kurt - Yeah, and you can download it from some peer-to-peer site for free too (did I say that outloud?)

camille - Awe, let's let the old guys do what they want to do. Who knows, maybe they surprise us with something good. Bob Dylan hit number one with his CD last year.

christie - I saw them back in 1976 as a teen. Are they still alive? ;)

sm - Yeah, don't get me wrong; I like many of their stuff too but that doesn't mean it isn't still funny!

jenny - Errr...I might have inflated that number for effect. I'm too lazy to look it up but I'm sure somebody will scold me and tell me the proper number. Still, I think there are just waaay too many irregardless of what the number actually is.

Theresa said...

If the Beach Boys could make a comeback, anyone can.

Variant E said...

Theresa - Your right! The Beach Boys? They're more like the Golden Boys (to rival the Golden Girls that is)! They've been milking their name/fame for so long it's pathetic. Sure, Brian Wilson has lyric talent, but that's about as far as it goes. And who would have thought he'd be the last Wilson standing?

Mushy said...

The Eagles have always been a very special band for me. Had some good times at their concerts!