BGAC08

Yeah, I went to the BGAC08. That’s “Bad Guys Annual Convention 2008” for those of you that are woefully uninformed.

I wasn’t sure they were going have one this year because while the ticket proceeds were stolen yet again this year (go figure), it was the first year the entire location was destroyed. Oh…those pesky terrorists; always looking for their next source of fun.

I’m always amazed I even get in. I mean, I lie about all the evil and awful things I’ve done just to get into it every year. I think they actually know I’m lying but the mere fact that I do lie gives them a soft spot in their evil black hearts that there might be hope for me turning evil and so they let me in anyway.

OJ was there as keynote speaker this year. He gave a wonderful powerpoint presentation on an elaborate sports memorabilia theft he was planning. The crowd went wild with approval and enthusiasm. They love that guy! Later, he signed a box of bloody gloves he’d brought with him. Lucky the event was earlier this year; it looks like his plan didn’t work out as planned; a common theme at the BGAC.

The entertainment was the usual top notch billing. The Joker did a little stand up act that even had rivals Penguin and Riddler spewing their lunches from laughter. It seems nobody ever tires of Joker’s “Batman spandex costume” comedy routine.

The annual Risk tournament had the usual participants all vying to have world domination. It’s amazing how Risk is such a popular game among bad guys. I guess it’s the common love of wanting absolute power and stabbing their fellow players in the back.

Yes, Lex Luther won the Trivial Pursuit: Death and Destruction edition again this year. That guy is just too smart for his own good. We always like to pull his chain a bit though. “Hey Lex, look; there’s Superman.” But ultimately repeated failures never seem to tarnish this crowd’s optimism at the possibilities of their next evil plot.

The “Name that Dementor” didn’t go over too well in the new fun category because everyone thought they looked just like the Wringwraiths and that “who came first with the black cape look” lawsuit going on didn’t help the matter. Plus, everyone just felt a lot of despair around the Dementors. Go figure.

The poor Dementors. They were trying to raise money too outside with their annual kissing booth and again…no takers. You got give it to them that for as much despair they still have that hopeful optimism of suckering in a few customers.

A good time was had by all.