Cat in the Hat in Modern Times

If the Cat in the Hat were here today
What would he do, with whom would he play?

For playing alone with two kids I cannot envision
He’d certainly be reported to the Children Services Division

Michael Vik would have him out fighting for money
But perhaps making him turn Garfield into lasagna would be funny

But supposing he got into the house all the same
He’d never get their attention from their X-Box Game

That stacking game with the cake, he might as well not try it
Too many carbs there for their new Atkins diet

Thing one and thing two were just way, way too hyper
Now on Ritalin they drool and smile in their diaper

Though the gadgets are nice on his clean up machine
The fuel it uses makes it not “green”

Yes many things now would probably cause him to have fainted
Not to worry about that though because his cat foods all tainted