Monday, September 24, 2007

Health RISK

Ok, request time. ADW asked awhile back if I would do a theme game for Risk next time because she just couldn’t abide with my Bushopoly and perhaps even my Life game alterations. So, as I said, I do requests (ask away).

Now if you haven’t played the game of Risk before you are either a nice person or a moron. It’s a game of world domination; probably originally invented by Alexander the Great or Napoleon or Lex Luther or some other dictator/bad guy.

The whole point of the game is to screw your other players and take over all their assets through bloody conquest. I see some religious and political tie-ins with that theme…

Since everybody loves absolute power and total domination; it’s a very popular game. But they just haven’t jumped on the theme bandwagon like Monopoly has. You don’t see the Harley version where you have to acquire gang members throughout the country by putting battle “hogs” on the board and mixing it up with the various motorcycle gangs. Nothing fun like that.

No, I’m afraid we are on our own to create our own original theme Risk. The one I feature here is called “Health Risk”. Rather than geographic locations, we’ll use the body as a playing board.

The idea is the same; total domination. Instead of just colored players, you get to be different diseases; each battling for total body acquisition (and untimely death as a bonus feature and incentive!!!). Instead of soldiers, you’ll be placing little cancerous cells and genetically mutated or infectious things onto your acquired body parts in hopes of spreading those out across the entire body. You’ll get bonus mutations if you secure an entire body board area such as the organs, or the brain, or the extremities.

You’ll get cards, just like in the original game but this time they’ll be either good or bad and will sweep the board irregardless. Perhaps you’ll get an inoculation card and lose half your existing numbers in an area. Perhaps the body will have not taken all of its anti-biotic and therefore allow you to double or triple your numbers. One never knows what to expect.

The great thing about this theme game is that there are so many sub themes that will be coming out too.

- Health Risk: Male Anatomy version (where there is a direct overwrite path from the penis to the brain)
- Health Risk: Female Anatomy version (all play bogs down for several days every month)

The possibilities are endless!


ADW said...

Yay! It took you long enough to satisfy me. At this rate you won't be good for another one for at least 2 months.

Unknown said...

That is morbidly awesome! Is there a time limit to the game? Like, can the body die of old age?

"You drew a vaccine card, please return to incubation and start over."

"The body, while sick, dies from falling down a flight of stairs: no winners."

Ed said...

adw - Yeah, yeah. It's not easy making up stuff like that on the spot. I actually had the idea on the spot, I was just too lazy to do an image to go with it.

kan -I like those ideas! Maybe it could have an aging thing where the board gets all wrinkly as the timer winds down and then eventually just dies when the timer runs out

Camille Alexa said...

Ewww. Besides, haven't you played Dark Cut?

Ed said...

camille - Ewwww. I don't like surgery. Besides, that's a computer game, this is an innocent board game. What harm can come from that? Well...don't count those enraged risk players that get so mad they flip the board over and melt the playing pieces in the fireplace.

Kurt said...

VE, I am satisfied with the level of effort you are putting out in these posts. I am definitely getting my money's worth.

justacoolcat said...

Finally! I get to see diptheria and cholera battle each other.

Nessa said...

There should be wires running through the board so you can do electric shock therapy.

Ed said...

kurt - Thanks. Does that mean your going to increase your rates on what I pay to keep you reading?

justacoolcat - Yep and watch out for that ghonneria know where he started his play from!

nessa - Good idea. I love electric shock therapy...strictly for the experience of course.

Logophile said...

I'm liking the Risk game.
Pre-order me one of those, eh?

Jeff and Charli Lee said...

I'm liking this. You could gain degenerative disease "armies" through excessive drinking, smoking and eating crappy junk food. Not to mention careless unprotected sex. Like you said, the possibilities are endless.

Ed said...

logophile - Will do; you can have the upgraded anotomically correct look and feel playing board too.

jeff - Good idea. Body abuse is highly popular!