Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Going Global

It has occurred to me I need to put on my thinking cap again in my ongoing quest to do nothing.

I’ve come to the conclusion that if I work for a truly global company, I should be celebrating the global holidays. That means that anywhere in the world there is a public holiday, I should celebrate. Great idea, isn’t it?

Here…I mapped out every legal holiday across the world for the year. The holidays are with a solid GREEN square.

But then I got to thinking about it more…hey, there are lots of rotating holidays. I’d better map those. They have an “R” in them. It yielded another 32 days!

Based on this, here are the only days I will have to work:

Jan – 10 days Jul – 11 days Total = 79
Feb – 4 days Aug – 4 days
Mar – 6 days Sep – 9 days
Apr – 4 days Oct – 5 days
May – 8 days Nov – 9 days
Jun – 3 days Dec – 6 days

79 days? Egads, that won’t do! What else can I do?

Well, duh, I don’t work on Saturdays…let’s subtract those 14 (indicated in Blue). Down to 65 days

Then, I get 6 weeks of paid vacation each year. Isn’t that wonderful? Don’t hate me; I’ve worked at this global company a long time. Anyway, that translates to another 30 days. Let’s subtract those as some dark red color. Ok, down to 35 days!

Oh yeah, I also get one floating holiday. We’ll mark that as another a brighter red. Down to 34 work days!

But wait, I didn’t use up all my vacation for last year. I still have and will earn 264 hours for the remainder of this year (minus a trip in Nov and some extra Christmas time off). That translated to 33 days more vacation. I’ll plug that in as Orange.

Hey, down to 1

That leaves me having to go into work on on Wednesday, April 16th. I’ll be recovering from getting my taxes in, its hump day, it’ll probably rain that day and I’ll call in sick anyway.

Mission accomplished!

Up next...what the hell are all of these weird holidays?


Kurt said...

They're going to need to hire someone to do your job.

Scary Monster said...

Sound like yer gettin ready to go on unemployment.


Serena said...

What an excellent idea, backed up by thorough research. I'm going to show your stats to my boss.

Jeff and Charli Lee said...

Um, from the likes of this post, it appears you already have too much time on your hands. What on earth will you do with yourself now?

Oh wait, don't answer that.

Ed said...

kurt - I go to meetings and say important things; they have plenty of people to do that

sm - Nope, I plan to still get paid; just not work. THATs the trick of it.

sj - By all means, if you too can get them off, I highly recommend it

jeff - Don't worry, I use illegal immigrants to do all my post preparation and work; I merely dictate the thoughts. Costs me 20 cents per post but there is a lead paint downside to it all.

Jenny said...

Your Britney song is very funny.

Unknown said...

That is awesome! An honestly "global" person. All faiths, all nationalities, all minorities- VE is the way of the future!

Mother Theresa said...

Okay, we have the following holidays coming up:

Oct. 12: Fiesta Nacional de España.
Nov 1: Día de todos los Santos.
Nov. 29: San Saturnino
Dec 3: San Francisco Javier.
Dec. 6: Día de la Constitución.
Dec. 8: Festividad de la Inmaculada.
Dec. 25: Natividad del Señor.

So, you can present those to your boss and tell him you absolutely need those days off. Of course he might not agree with Nov. 29th and Dec. 3, since those are local holidays, but you could always try to slip it by him. Happy Holidays! :)

Logophile said...

If i just randomly interupt various meetings and say things I deem to be important, does that help you in anyway?

justacoolcat said...

I'll bet if you looked harder you'd find even more holidays. Heck, you may be a step away from getting my dream job; someome paying you to stay home.

Ed said...

ab - Thanks!

kan - Hold next post is just a humorous rant about all those things I do not understand. All tongue-in-cheek but I'm sure I'll probably get somebody feathers all ruffled. I've already plucked mine to avoid such problems

theresa - See, I'm ready and willing to support all of those. I have no idea what they are and why they are important but I'm ready to party none-the-less

logophile - I think if you could provide me with snappy smart things to say in the meetings that would be perfect

justacoolcat - Hey, that's my dream too. We should form a company (that somebody else runs because we'll be at home)