Monday, October 15, 2007

Present Suggestions for 2007

I know, I know. I'm totally embarrased. I didn't do my Christmas shopping in June like everyone else when they set out the displays over at the mall. Silly me...I was looking for summer clothes. How did I know I was supposed to buy those in February?

So, with only 70 more shopping days until Christmas, VE has once again searched the entire globe for amazing and truly useful gifts that guarantee you will not be giving Aunt Edna her third toaster oven over the holiday.

Yes, let's start right off with the festive holiday hat. Guaranteed to be the life of the party (translated...butt of the jokes)!
Tired of those tiny cell phones but still like the mobility of it? Don't want to look like you're in a sci fi film with one of those wireless ear pieces (or you're talking to yourself)? This is just the product for you...

That's right, diaper harness for Doggies is a wonderful gift for the pet owners on your list. Forget the embarrassment of having your pet take a dump on your neighbor's lawn right as they are gardening...
Compliments from the tobacco industry comes this fun toy. Don't worry, while it sends a bad message, it doesn't come from China so there is no lead paint to further contribute to an early demise.

For you office workers that are addicted to coffee, here is a handy add on for your computer...a coffee cup mouse. Just don't fill it too full..
For the perverted uncle we have these wonderful celebrity butt plugs. That's right, these buttplugs have the likeness of famous people. Thus far, they have...
George W. Tush
Smell Gibson (Braveheart Edition)
Parass Hilton
They'll also make a"custom buttplug" for you, if you send them a close-up photo of someone, perhaps yourself, your ex, or whatever turns you on.For the child on the list comes this wonderful action figure set. What child wouldn't want an aggressively violent unicorn? Charlie the out!

For those on your list that are a bit more "green"; how about this wonderful hamster wheel/paper shredder as a gift? Talk about saving energy!

For the stocking stuffer, who wouldn't want a corn dog air freshener? The gift that keeps on giving. Now your car can smell like the county fair!

And for that girfriend or significant other, here's a trendy purse shaped like a take out box. Perfect for taking out!!

Yes, thanks to VE, Christmas will not be the same ever again!


Jenny said...

I'd like the diapers for the small dog, please. I'll need quite a few... I have a lot of small dogs.


Nessa said...

Wow, my shopping is now done. Something for everyone on my list.

Mother Theresa said...

Hey, you just solved all my Christmas shopping woes. Do they have diapers for cats too?

Serena said...

Wow, thank you! Now I won't have to waste brain power trying to figure out what to buy.:-)

Anne said...

if we still had a hamster, i'd take the shredder, that's cool!

(you haven't been by my place in a while, what gives?)

Unknown said...

My thoughts about this post are best summed up by Jack Nicholson(sp?) in Batman:

Where does he get those wonderful toys?

I need an "all of the above" option for your most recent poll. I have seen each at least 10 times and love them all.

Ed said...

ab - Depends on the size of small dog. They have juggling dog size and then a slight step up from that is their mail box dog size. actual dogs were juggled or mailed during this info comment...

nessa - I know; I bought two corn dog air fresheners because you can never get enough of that smell!

theresa - Oh yes, cat diapers too. They also come with optional long string so they'll chase their own diaper for hours!

sj - If you have a home office; I believe they still offer a much larger size spouse wheel paper shredder. Same principal; more satisfaction

anne - Try the spousal one. A bit more but well worth it. I know, I know; I have been lurking at your place but you have posts on craft stuff and I cannot poke fun at anyone with actual talent

kan - Great quote! Sorry Dude, you're going to have to make a choice on that poll. It all comes down to life's tough choices.

Helene said...

you must be the one everyone hopes draws their name at the office party! lmao!! I liked the Hamster cage shredder and the celeb butt plugs... for the person who has everything! lmao

Kurt said...

That's a pretty knobby butt plug.

Anonymous said...

The Unicorn is the best. I always said that the in the fantasy world of rainbows and unicorns, the reality is that the unicorn gores you with it's horn. Now I have proof.

Anonymous said...

I love the paper shredder!! Too cute!

Ed said...

kate - You don't EVEN want me at an office party!

kurt - Are you speaking from experience here?

fiar - Yep; you called it right. There just HAD to be a dark side to those creatures...

talina - You can upgrade to the spousal one as well...

Anne said...

Yo! I have had three non-crafty posts in a row and I still get no comments from you. Are you trying to send me back to therapy?

Camille Alexa said...

I want the unicorn playset. Mememememe.

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