Friday, October 19, 2007

Lettuce Wraps Unleashed

I had dinner the other day at P.F. Changs. I think they’re a popular chain that serves yummy MSG drenched Asian food. We got some appetizers called “Lettuce Wraps”. Have you had these? They basically take really thick pieces of iceberg lettuce and use them the way you would use a tortilla by filling them with their chicken whatever stuff. It was fabulous.

The lettuce really worked well. It was very crunchy and held up despite all the drippy, runny goo stuffed into it. And it got me thinking…

Would this become the wonder substitute for Atkins and South Beach diet folks? Too many carbs and calories in your chips and salsa? Well, it’s not the salsa dude, it’s those damn yummy corn chips. But who wants to eat salsa straight from a spoon? You need something to scoop and crunch with! How about this iceberg lettuce? I think it will work...it crunches, it’s not that nutritional but it’s also not bad either. Yeah, let’s see, if I just cut them up into triangles like the chips are and throw them into a resealable bag in the produce section, slap a couple of nifty titles like “100% organic” and “0 Trans Fat” people will come clamoring for them!


Then I’ll head over to Taco Hell err…Taco Bell and start a new healthier food line for them featuring iceberg lettuce burritos. Never mind that what is inside is laden with fat and chemicals, holding that fresh crisp lettuce will just make you feel so much healthier! Then it’s over to Burger King for that Atkins Lettuce Double Whopper

I’ll start my own line of iceberg lettuce sandwiches catered to those dieters that cannot have carbs! My BLT will be more true than the traditional BLT because I don’t have bread! That’s not BBLT there buddy. It’s Bacon, Lettuce, Tomato! Here’s a yummy peanut butter and jelly one:
My iceberg lettuce pies will be a real hit. No more filling yourself up with fattening pie crust!
This list goes on.

I can see the money rolling in already….

27 comments:

VE said...

And don't even start with the "they have lettuce burgers already" comments cause they aren't whoppers!!!

VE said...

Hey, I'm commenting to myself! Hey, I got the number one and two spots. Hey....never mind.

iamnot said...

Does it have to be iceberg?
No romaine?

You need to rethink this.

VE said...

iamnot - Romaine? Doesn't that grow hair back or something?

Bee said...

You forgot to mention Quesadillas, yummmmm...
I always thought the tortilla was just too thick to bother with.

Only a thin layer would stand between me and cheesy greasy goodness!

Anonymous Boxer said...

Being a vegetarian, I say... more lettuce.. I don't care what kind.

Jean Knee said...

I like the way you think! I've been cooking everything in my waffle iron lately. I want to post some kewl waffle iron recipes but just haint got around to it ,,,yet. intriguing, no?

Serena Joy said...

Ah, geez, lettuce just doesn't taste that good, you know what I mean? Blech. I guess it would be okay drenched in dressing and wrapped around something that DOES taste good.

Hey, congrats on grabbing the #1 and #2 spots! You are Johnny on the spot.:-)

Logophile said...

Too far, I say, TOO Far.

Nessa said...

You are a marketing and health food genius.

the frogster said...

Clever. My wife LOVES those lettuce wraps at PF Changs, so I think you're on to a big thing here. Well done. I am currently shopping for land to start my lettuce farm- I don't want to miss the boat on the next big thing.

Theresa said...

I can see you have way too much free time on your hands. Must be all those holidays you've been taking. ;)

VE said...

bee - Yum! Can you get a greasy lettuce wrap though?

ab - Where there you go then!

jk - Kewl! I'd like to see just what your cooking in that waffle maker. Can you void the warranty by cooking something other than waffles in it?

sj - Yeah, I'm so tricky locking down my own two spots!

logophile - A. You can NEVER go too far. B. I don't know, but refer back to A

nessa - Thank you!

frogster - Good idea on that lettuce farm. Be sure to use slave labor to work it...

theresa - Yeah, imagine what I could accomplish if I focused on something productive!

Jeff said...

What do you call a honeymoon sandwich?

Ready?.....

Lettuce alone!

Ba-dum.

VE said...

jeff - And that joke is 100% trans fat free too!

Kurt said...

What's a PF Chang's?

VE said...

kurt - I wondered how big P.F. Changs was; it might just be a west coast thing. It's a chain of restuarants...

Kelley said...

Methinks you have far too much time on your hands VE.

And I hope you found some starving child to feed that crap to once you finished.

We dont have PF Changs here in Oz, but I'm with you, I love eating outta a lettuce cup. How about a hot dog?

OMG! You are shittin' me, in the US of A Burger King has LETTUCE BURGERS!!!! *boggle*

Tammie Jean said...

Mmmm... I want an Atkins Lettuce Double Whopper. I don't know why but that picture is hilarious to me :)

Anne said...

We have PFChang's here in the DC area, service, well, that's just a bad word for it, is just too slow to go back again.

How did the pbj&l hold up? looks good.

Anne said...

Wait!! the pie crust is the best part!

GC said...

I can't believe nobody mentioned endives. They have a great shape for scooping.

VE said...

kelley - Lettuce hot dogs...good one!

tj - Yes, just try ordering that in the drive through at your local Burger King. Quote them the "have it your way" slogan too...

anne - PB&JL was a little bit slippery. The bread actually is a little more absorbant than lettuce. I'm working on some edible velcro to help...

gd - Endives. Now how did I over look those!

Camille Alexa said...

Is it so wrong that stuff looks good to me? Is it?

VE said...

camille - Somebody's gotta eat it; might as well be you!

Shawna said...

There are at least 2 'Chang's in Dallas. The lettuce wraps are yummy indeed. Damn you, I was gonna say In and Out has been doing the lettuce burger for a while. No In and Out here...but everytime I go visit the sisters in Cali, it's a must stop (but I prefer the bun).

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