Tuesday, October 09, 2007

New Improvements

Yes, I think its time once again to work on improving your never-ending commute experience. Thanks to my innovative tendencies in striving for one more convenient but useless gadget inside your car, we now have:

Yes, that’s right, you now have your own console cooler. You can even buy the Mel Gibson signature line with the convenient alcohol mixer on the side.

But that’s not all we’ll be featuring in the future. We’ve taken away that silly old passenger air bag and replaced it with a pop up seat pad that can also be used as a flotation device.

On the dash we’ve taken that nice space to add a lovely toaster oven with optional bagel toaster on the side.
Yes, now you can enjoy all your favorite breakfast meals without having to hold them in your mouth as you rush off to sit on the freeway for an hour.

Now I know what your saying….”but VE, I’m a blender fruity drink kind of morning person.” Yes, in the future we are working on a console blender option too. Here’s an early prototype mockup:
And if your going to have a full breakfast while sitting on the freeway, you should also have some entertainment. Thanks to my new “smart windows” invention, you can now install a keyboard right there by your drivers seat and be ready to type messages right onto your new windows.
That’s right, each window can be controlled independently with font and size. Guy cut you off? Express to him how you REALLY feel! Hot girl stopped right next to you? Express to her how you REALLY feel! Selling something? Why not make us all suffer your selling zeal. Yes…the possibilities are endless.

Thanks to my tireless efforts, your driving experience will be further enrichened. You'll probably want to drive all the time now!

11 comments:

GC said...

I need the keyboard

I want to say: My indicator means I'm going to turn.

Serena Joy said...

Damn, you are the Marketing Czar! I want the keyboard and magic windows. I don't even care how much it costs.:-)

Kurt said...

You could also warn people when there is an accident ahead. Why don't you use your powers for good, VE?

VE said...

gc - Nothing like having to state the obvious, huh?

sj - I know you want it. We all want it! I guess I really should take some of my ideas seriously, huh? You have no idea how many I have written down and done nothing about. Its like a little hobby for me.

kurt - Where's the fun in that?

Kelley said...

Quick! You need to edit that post and put tm next to all your ideas cause you know that General Motors or Hyundai will bring out these in time for Christmas...

And you will have to change the name of the glass things that you wind up and down though cause I think Bill Gates has the trademark on that word.

Can I put my order in now? I want the keyboard upgrade and if possible a cone of silence for the back seat.

Oh and a console coffee machine.

K?

Diesel said...

That blender is frighteningly realistic.

Anonymous Boxer said...

could I order mine with a microwave? Oh, and a cosmetic mirror with a light? Yeah, that would be great.

VE said...

kelley - I'd put the "tm" symbol on there but I think somebody has trademarked the symbol. Perhaps I should make up my own symbol and just say its the symbol formerly known as the trademark symbol (ala Prince strategy). I like the cone of silence feature!

diesel - Yeah..but I did say it was a "mock up"...by monkeys...but I think I'm covered. Besides, I was going to buy Photoshop Mega Plus: the Expanded WYSIWYG Edition with the car console and unusual appliance templates but it looks like their not compatible with my Commadore Vic 20 computer.

ab - Only if I can make the mirror one of those circus fun mirrors!

justacoolcat said...

Does that blender have a bong attachment?

Shawna said...

Oh, I'd have a few choice words for the drivers in Dallas....no doubt! But we do hold the title of the biggest crime rate in america right now, so I better watch it!

Tammie Jean said...

I really want that console cooler...