Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Show me your spoilers!!!

Ok, some of you didn’t read the spoiler warning and went on to be devastated with my recent Alternate Endings post. Waaah!

It’s time for VE’s annual spoiler predictions (ok, I didn’t do it last year and I’ll probably forget to do it again next year but it sounds so traditional when I say that).

“But VE, what is a spoiler prediction?”

Good question. I love when my posts are interactive even though nobody is there. Spoiler predictions are where I predict upcoming movies and their outcome for the benefit of ruining your movie enjoyment experience. How fun is that??!!

Indiana Jones and the Chrystal Skull (Harrison Ford)

Spoiler: The bad guys chase Indiana all over exotic locations. They track his movements with an airplane simulating a line across a globe. In the end, the bad guys are defeated and/or killed and Indiana goes back into archeological obscurity.

Fahrenheit 451 (Tom Hanks)

Spoiler: The books are rescued from being burned in the end!

I know...lame....but hey
I couldn't even find a coming soon poster either.


The Dark Night (Christian Bale)

Spoiler: Batman shows up with lots of cool new vehicles that you desperately want to drive but cannot afford the gas much less the ticket for driving an unlicensed prototype movie vehicle on a public roadway. The Joker loses in the end and Batman has an identify crisis when he discovers a set of DVDs that feature earlier but different Batman stories that don’t synch up with his. It’s like it all happened before, but different. Huh?

Ironman (Robert Downey Jr.)

Spoiler: They’ll open with a complete background on how Ironman got to be Ironman and have some serious and conflicted storyline on why he fights crime. Then, they’ll do the same with the bad guy and why they are the bad guy. Then, they’ll have battles and ultimately Ironman will win and set himself up nicely for a sequel.


Unknown said...

You forgot one key spoiler of the new Indy movie- Indiana Jones loses his hat for a moment only to return for it despite some doom about to befall him.

It looks like most of these movies will not be made. The writer's strike starts 10/31/07. If the movie ain't written by then, it ain't being written. Then there is the comming director and actor strike coming on 1/1/08.

This is our moment my friend. We need a script and fast! We are scabs. We are non-union. We can do it!

Gnomeself Be True said...

I can't believe Robert Downey Jr. as Iron Man!

That "Spoils" it for me.

Ed said...

Kan - Good point about that damn hat. Did he have a locator on it or something because I swear he loses it half the time but somehow it miraciously reappears later. Oh, and I think your wrong about some of these movies. The Dark Knight was already filming awhile back and I believe Ironman is in the same status. Those will probably make it. The Farenheit movie might get impacted by those strikes though.

iamnot - Yeah, they should have used him for Rubberman because he seems good at bouncing between work, rehab, and jail

Unknown said...

I can't handle scabs again. I still wake up screaming with nightmares of the Duke boys' "cousins" during the last one. And Battlestar Galacttica 1984? What the hell was that?

Jeff and Charli Lee said...

Robert Downey Jr. is Ironman? Really? What, Ben Stiller wasn't available?

robkroese said...

In the book, the books weren't saved. Or didn't you read it? ;)

Don't knock Robert Downey, Jr. The man can act, and it's brilliant casting, given Tony Stark's alcoholism.

Mother Theresa said...

Thanks, you just saved me a bundle in movie tickets. ;)

Ed said...

kan - 1984...I choose to forget that year on the grounds that it was the early 80s.

jeff - I had my hopes on Mr. Bean

diesel - I can't believe you spoiled the book! Sheez!

theresa - Your welcome. That's because I can't save you any money on insurance.

Kurt said...

Your Indiana Jones prediction is impressive.

Logophile said...

You have a gift, its like you're psycho or something!

Ed said...

kurt - Thank you. I did go to a 3 week Indiana Jones prep class.

logophile - What do you mean "like"; I thought I was!

Uncivil said...

I thought Batman would have figured out how to make fuel out of bat droppings by now?