Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Costco

Seriously, don’t you find it odd that Costco sells caskets? Value packs of toilet paper I understand but what is the advantage of them selling caskets?

Can I purchase a family pack?
Can I get the optional pet caskets too?
What about refunds; can I return it within a given time?
Even with embalming stains?
Can I add the zombie protection clause with my purchase?

I see that “acts of God” among other things could delay shipment. First of all, what “acts of God”? Like death? Hey, that’s why we need the casket in the first place! And really, what’s the delay matter….THEY’RE DEAD! They can wait.

Oh and don’t forget; they only deliver during business hours, not in the dead of night. Yuk yuk yuk.

11 comments:

iamnot said...

Death is only slightly less expensive than life.

Kurt said...

I would like a plain pine box.

Shawna said...

Plain pine box will cost ya more than you think! I worked at a Black Funeral Home in the early nineties, let's just say it was interesting to say the least.

I was once called a "honky" by a very angry black woman who wanted to view a body...

Jeff said...

Why wouldn't a "big box" store sell big boxes? Duh.

Uncivil said...

I wanna be cremated. My ex-wifes douche bag would be the perfect urn!

kev said...

Caskets are the ultimate "impulse" buy. They should put them next to the candy and magazines at the checkout lines.

People will be in the checkout line and think to themselves, "oh what the heck...I should grab a Snickers and a casket."

It's marketing genius.

Anonymous Boxer said...

how do you get it home?

VE said...

iamnot - Isn't that why we work? So we can afford to die.

kurt - Sorry, that's not very 'green'. I can offer you their recycled diaper version that is very 'green'

shawna - You worked in a funeral home? Now why does that not suprise me!

jeff - I can't argue with that logic!

uncivil - Good one

kev - Now that's funny. You think they could put them in vending machines too?

ab - You die trying; it's convenient

BottleBlonde said...

Next thing you know they'll be selling child slaves imported from Thailand.


Hey, a girl can dream!

Shawna said...

Yeah, I got it through a temp agency, worked there for several months. The Funeral Director (I think) had a crush on me and wanted to hire me, but for shit-wages, so I declined. It was actually a really easy, yet interesting gig. I just did front desk duty, nothing hard. Of course I did watch him embalm once, I HAD to! (not because he made me, because I'm a freak)

Serena Joy said...

Costco's selling caskets? That come with value packs of toilet paper? Good God, I'm getting cremated.:)