Thursday, November 15, 2007

Filling in for the writer’s strike: What happened on 24 and Lost?

Ok, part five in the improv festival here at Fantastical Nonsense. I’m nearing the end. Whew! Here’s the last request in the queue: UFOs (Unusual Feminine Objects) (nessa)

But for now, here’s Kanrei’s request “Filling in for the writer’s strike: What happened on 24 and Lost?” You’ll note that since the writers strike didn’t impact Heroes, I pulled that from this post as that show will have at least 9 more episodes before being impacted. I also must say that it’s one thing to make something up out of the blue, it’s quite another to take something you’ve never seen and add to it impromptu. You TV addicts will have to cut me some slack as I probably don’t know much of the subtle nuances that a regular viewer would pick up. Remember, I’ve never seen either show. But enough babbling…

Filling in for the writer’s strike: What happened on 24 and Lost?

Lost – Episode 69.5 “The filler until we air the previously written episodes in hopes that the writers strike doesn’t last long episode.” Sometimes known as Lost and Found. Written by Writer Scab “VE”

Continuing where they left off with Jack trying to communicate to Naomi’s boat; there is a new development. It seems Comcast has turned off all wireless communications on the island and the boat due to lack of payment. This thwarts the casts plan and they are back to the drawing board.

Later, Jack and company discover that in addition to “the others” there are also some “other others” on the island wearing strange uniforms. They following them to a shaft and down into a long vertical pipeway and then for what seems like miles of horizontal pipeway.

This pipeway leads to a T juncture where there is a Starbucks. Apparently the other others are all Starbucks employees. This Starbucks is here as a result of the new global policy that there has to be a Starbucks within a 5 mile radius of anything man made around the world.

They try and follow the other others through the back of the place but are again thwarted because they lack the barista skills to make double non-fat mocha lattes. Weighing over the option of barista training, it is determined they would simply move on down the same pipeway as see where it leads.

At the end of the pipeway, they discover another island. It is also isolated and similar to their own and contains a group of people stranded on the island. It turns out that everyone on that island has had a similar experience of being “found” and saved at some past point in their life.

The lost and found groups then travel together and take the T-option pipeway by the starbucks and end up in a strange island with a large box as big as a building and what looks to be like the bottom of shelves in a counter top where the box is situated. Right next to this is a harbor and a long boat dock.

In the end, the lost and found stay in the cardboard box in the hopes that somebody will show up and claim them back to civilization!

Episode 145 – Hour 5am.

Plot: Jack is sleeping. We see him toss to his left 14 times. He tosses to his right 7. At 14 minutes in he snores. This continues for the remainder of the episode.

Episode 146 – Hour 6am

Plot: Jack gets up, makes coffee, and heads out. On the phone with Chloe it has been discovered that a new terrorist cell is forming and there seems to be a connection with celebrities and rehab.

17 minutes into the hour we see Jack picking up some alcohol at the liquor store and consuming massive quantities. Disguised as the famous actor, Keifer Sutherland, Jack’s plan is to get arrested for DUI and then quickly check into the suspected rehab center to thwart the terrorists plot.

20 minutes into the hour we see Jack taking a leak in the back of the Safeway parking lot.

24 minutes into the hour we see Jack up on Mulholland Drive weaving his car recklessly.

29 minutes into the hour a police officer has pulled him over and is in the process of arresting him.

32 minutes into the hour Jack must sacrifice his cell phone and contact with Chloe for the greater good. He is now alone in his cell without his cell. The paparazzi are gathering…

37 minutes into the hour Jack has managed to make bail based on his single land line rotary dial phone call; luckily he had special training to use such devices.

With paparazzi in tow, he is making his way toward the rehab center.
45 minutes into the hour Jack has finished filling out all the paper work to enter the rehab facility. The scab writers couldn’t come up with anything exciting here except when Jack didn’t have the required co-pay amount to enter. He had to risk exposing himself by making an ATM transaction there at the facility using his real name (which is confusing because he is now using his character name and disguising himself using his real name; as confusing as TV can get here folks.).

54 minutes into the hour after 9 minutes of hot tub soaking and a quick health drink, Jack gets the break he’s been looking for. There, disguised as a tropical massage hut with seemingly harmless Pakistan-born employees applying massage oil, he discovered that the massage table is actually a repository for anthrax designed to be sent out with each celebrity visiting the rehab facility.

58 minutes into the hour comes the big cliffhanger. Somehow the terrorists have discovered Jack’s true identity and have poisoned the massage oils for his scheduled massage. Stay tuned next episode to see if Jack will discover the plot in time, if he’ll be able to pay his cell phone bill, if next time he’ll toss more to the right than the left. Oh, the suspense.


Uncivil said...

I'm completely lost here? I only watch the history channel!

Unknown said...

OMG and Oh my G-d! That was beyond what I had thought you could do. I laughed out loud more than once with this.

Lost and Found!
A Starbucks on the islad!
Jack sleeping, eating and getting busted!

You have outdone yourself. And you don't watch them? I am not a Lost person either, but 24 is facist fun.

Scary Monster said...

Ya know, when ya post everyday it be real difficult to keep up with others that do the same.
Jack drinks Jack and still survives a night in the tank.

Variant STOMPS!!!!

Kurt said...

What's a 24?

Kurt said...

Lost: I thought they found out they were really in Hell.

justacoolcat said...

I haven't watch Lost in quite awhile, but I'm glad they finally got that Starbucks they deserve.

Serena said...

It is as I suspected. Yes, there are Starbucks everywhere, even on the Lost Island of Hell. As for 24, you may have to carry on if the writers' strike continues. You could have Jack leave Rehab in ill-fitting ladies' underwear and hole up in a safe house where he learns the craft of fecal mural painting.

Ed said...

uncivil - Don't worry; I don't even watch that much

kanrei - Thanks. Nope, don't watch them at all; never have. But didn't deter me from coming up with something, did it?

sm - I know the feeling; I feel bad that sometimes I cannot make my rounds and enjoy what has been posted.

kurt - Twice as much as a 12 pack!
Oh, and hell is actually work; they're just playing around on an Island; try sitting in a cubicle all day, every day. That's hell!

justacoolcat - Everybody deserves a starbucks outlet. I'm having one installed in the home with a personal barista.

sj - Good one. I like the tie in. I draw the line though if he has hard nipples...

Serena said...

I draw the line though if he has hard nipples...

No problema. You can just write him into a padded bra.:)

Maureen said...

Hahahaha!!! That was GREAT! I have never seen LOST, but since daughter has just become a Starbucks barista (she passed her test!) I know she will roar at this post.

And 24... love it! You'd better be careful, you're going to be called a scab by the writers on the picket line. Your stories are better than theirs!

Ed said...

sj - Good point

maureen - Welcome.