Friday, November 09, 2007

The Lowest Common Denominator

Has this happened to you? I went to the gas station on empty because frankly, I hate to go there. It’s not like they have the best cuisine at their quicky store so why else would I want to spend more time there? The great coffee? Winking at chicks across the other side of the pump? Right!

Anyhow, I’m on empty and I have him “fill it up” on my credit card. But he stops at $50 and says he’ll need the card back to swipe again if I need more. “Why?” I ask. Apparently it’s a security precaution designed to protect me.

WTF?! Was this another example of innovation by committee? Do they really think I’m going to steal somebody’s credit card and then drive up with a huge tanker just so I can steal as much gas as possible and the $50 cap will foil my dastardly plans? I don’t see the point because they just end up asking if I want more charged on it anyway. All I see it as is an inconvenience to me.

It’s sort of like the 25 minutes it takes you to actually get to that new DVD you bought because of all the security taping around every possible side of the case. You practically need a surgical kit to get this stuff off. Sometimes I've bought movies that actually weren't worth the effort it took to remove it all (I take those back so they can add more taping). Thanks guys, why not make us all suffer to prevent theft!

It’s like that cost saving security plastic that things come in now that even the Terminator couldn’t open with his bear hands. Have you seen this stuff? It nearly is too much for even some of my scissors to penetrate. I’ve got the grass shears handy now.

It’s always to lowest common denominator that make everyone suffer. Guy tries to put a bomb in his shoe at the airport? Now we all get to take our shoes off at security! People try to disguise explosives in liquid form? Now we all get to check our bag unless we want to survive on four ounces of suntan lotion for a two week vacation to “Fry my Skin” island or purchase yet more locally for $14.50 a bottle after which you’ll just have to throw that one away too.

I guess I’m tired of having everyone suffer because of the bad apples.


Shawna said...

YEAH - what HE said!

Gnomeself Be True said...

The $50 limit is there to try to encourage you to drive cars with 12 gallon tanks, instead of tanks with a 20 gallon capacity.

Todd Camplin said...

nice rant, keep it up

Jeff and Charli Lee said...

You know, I don't see any warning labels on their packaging about slicing my thumb off with the box cutter I have to use to open their stupid products. I see a potential law suit opportunity here!

justacoolcat said...

*said in Arnie voice*
I can't believe I can't get this open. . . I'll be back . .

Which happens to be the most quoted movie line of our time. Go figure.

That $50 limit is super obnoxious.

Ed said...

shawna - Yeah, yeah, and take THAT! Thanks, I gotta vent like that more often

iamnot - Yeah right. Like I'd believe the oil companies are trying to discourage consumption. And the credit card companies? They're just as bad. Nice try. You can pry my 20 gallon capacity vehicle from my dead cold hands!!!

camplin - Why does it feel so good to have a nice long rant?

jeff - Careful there Jeff, do you have a license for that box cutter? But should you slice off that thumb, I'll say I saw it happen for you if it helps you get 22 million for lack of ability to hitchhike one way.

justacoolcat - You gotta admit, it is a great quote. I use it all the time!

Mother Theresa said...

What about the packaging on kids' toys that requires at least two adults to open? It always takes us longer to open the packaging than the time the kids actually spend playing with the toys. That gives me an idea for a new olympic sport: package opening...let's see who can break the world package-opening record of 2 hours 30 seconds.

Uncivil said...

They need to at least up the gas charge limit to $100. I wonder if it's like that on the diesel pumps? Could you imagine some long haul trucker trying to fill up both of his 100 gallon tanks using a credit card?

Kurt said...

That's the same thing that happened when I used your credit card.

robkroese said...

I think you need to recalibrate your "suffering" meter. Maybe a trip to Afghanistan?

Serena said...

Yeah! All that stuff makes me crazy, especially the plastic packaging that you need explosives to get open.

NYD said...

Scary was right! You are wacky, but I like the way you think. People put all these restrictions and protective measures in place and it only makes things either more difficult and exasperating or just plain inane.