Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Christmas Songs

Hey, let’s all go do something Christmasy!

Now, if you volunteer, that could mean collecting toy donations or serving meals. If you’re an atypical consumer, that means shopping, shopping, and more shopping for things we don’t need.

But if you’re in music that means that you will put out a Christmas song or CD. I want to emphasize the “will” in that. They never look at whether they “should”; they just do it. What is this need to have to subject us to another rendition of the Little Drummer Boy?

Some of the more gifted A-listers of the past have at least done their own original Christmas tunes. Now I don’t want to get into the whole John vs. Paul debate but really, which is the more powerful Christmas tune: John’s “Happy Christmas (War is Over)” or Paul’s “A Wonderful Christmas Time”?

Now I know you could simply say that they’re singers so they sing. But you don’t see every director in Hollywood making a Christmas movie just because they can. Imagine the Scorsese Christmas movie? Bloody violent gangs of Santas and Elves battling it out to control the lucrative Christmas shopping turf.

You don’t see the World Series team getting together to play a special Christmas game. You don’t see elite marathoners running a special Christmas tribute run. Ok, forget about the ice skaters; they’re complete hams and would do a Groundhog special event if you asked them.

Think I’m exaggerating by picking on musicians? Here are a few well known musical giants and their Christmas contributions:

Elvis PresleyBlue Christmas (you’ll feel blue after the 100th playing…)
Bruce SpringsteenSanta Claus is Coming to Town (Please do Santa, so this song will end…)
BB KingBack Door Santa (and I don’t EVEN want to hear what this one is about)
Beach BoysLittle Saint Nick (this is just so Beach Boys cute, isn’t it?)

Then there are those known pretty much ONLY for their Christmas contribution:

Ertha KittSanta Baby (the definitive consumer spending ad – up there with Downtown)
Jose FelicianoFeliz Navidad (Thank GOD he translated it in the song as well...)

Then there are those we could have done without:
Newsong Christmas Shoes (avoid at all costs; you’ll have enough sap to start a syrup company)
EverclearSanta Baby (I don’t know but any guy should just leave this one untouched)
Any Kenny G Christmas song (need I say more?)
John DenverPlease Daddy, Don’t Get Drunk for Christmas. (man what a happy title and song...I'm gonna go out right now and buy that one!)


Uncivil said...

I have a good title for a song.
"Christmas Sucks"!!!

Serena said...

Personally, I'd like to see that Scorsese film. Elf control is necessary and I'd like to see his take on putting the Santa gang in charge of it.:)

Anonymous said...

Am I the only one who remember's Billy and the Boingers "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Blew Him Away?"

Merry Christmas, uncivil.

Anonymous said...

Christmas SHOES? There is a song about Christmas SHOES?

Sorry forgotten what the rest of the post was about. Too distracted by the bright shiny shoes.....



Bobby D. said...

There was this Christmas song by Peter Paul and Mary about a kid who was starving on the streets who meets up with a starving little old lady and they have no food except a crust of stale bread but they have "The Christmas Spirit" so they are better than everybody else or something.

I'm not sure, but I think they both die at the end.

Kurt said...

Oh, VE, Eartha Kitt is known for much more than "Santa Baby." And she's still performing on Broadway at 80 years old.

Kurt said...

Jose Feliciano is no slouch either.

Schmoop said...

All worthy mentions of your panning. Especially, Kenny G, he just needs to go away permanently, not just at Christmas. Cheers!!

Ed said...

uncivil - You will be visited by three ghosts tonight to rethink your Christmas outlook...

sj - That would interesting, wouldn't it?

frogster - Billy boinged who? No, I have heard that song before.

kelley - Oh, it's so sappy. About a child getting Christmas shoes for her mommie going up to heaven. I always bring an emergency Tums antacid tablet in case I accidently hear it.

dcb - Welcome. That's a good point. I grew up on Peter Paul and Mary. There is a song called A Soulin' and it's actually a very tradtional folk song and seems more like doing the Trick or Treat type holiday traditon where they go around Soulin' and asking for a piece of fruit or something. Nothing commercial about it at all so that's refreshing...

kurt - Eartha Kitt? I meant musically...quick...name three Eartha Kitt songs. Now...quick...name three Beatles songs. See the difference?

kurt - I wasn't aware of Jose's impeccable seating posture...

matt-man - Isn't that what the "G" in Kenny is for? Go, Get, Gone, Good Riddance!

Mother Theresa said...

We get all our Christmas songs in Spanish over here, and they're mostly traditional, so there's not a new one out every year. Still, they get on your nerves after a while. I actually like "Santa Baby", okay, I know, I'm weird, but I like it.

Unknown said...

I love Billy and the Boingers! Their classic was "U Make Me Sick (But I Love You)". They were the house band in Bloom County. Hodge-Podge on drums, Opus on Tuba, and Bill the Cat on electric tongue.

"I Saw Santa" is great, but for me nothing beats their song "Rudolph the Head Banger Reindeer".

PS-Is it just me or is there some theme going on here? It feels like there is, but I just can't put my finger on what it may be.

Ed said...

theresa - You mean there isn't a Spanish translated version of "Santa Baby" over there? What might that look like I wonder?

Ed said...

kan - The theme, as always, is fantastical nonsense! The fact that the last three posts have been about Christmas is merely a co-inkydink...

ADW said...

Well, the Christmas Shoes one is a total tearjerker. Blech. Now when I hear it, I switch stations as quickly as possible.

Unknown said...

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