Friday, December 14, 2007

Frosty Returns and other Christmas show thoughts

Ever seen Frosty Returns? Me neither. I hadn’t even heard of it. Perhaps it came out in those years I thought work was noble and put effort into it. Who knows; but I assure you, there is a reason why you haven’t:

- John Goodman plays Frosty….and sings!

- The characters look a lot like the Charlie Brown characters; they used the same voices for Charlie Brown and that gal that always hangs around with Peppermint Patty. It was really strange. It was like watching a mashup between Peanuts and Frosty.

- The evil character is some greedy old businessman that has invented a spray can that instantly removes snow. Imagine how that stuff effects global warming…

- Frosty seems to be able to come and go as he pleases and be alive without a hat. How did he pull that off? Did they think we forgot the central concept to the first movie in that he had a magic hat that allowed him to be alive?

And while I’m on the subject of Christmas shows, here’s some other random thoughts:

Charlie Brown Christmas

Where did Lucy receive her psychiatry license from? Did she do a correspondence course?

If all dances were like the dance scene in this show I could actually dance. I think I can pull off doing one move over and over and over…

You know, I’ve been watching this show for awhile now and I’m convinced that pile of bones that Snoopy is munching on by this dog house never gets any smaller…

How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Speaking of Politically correct, is it me or is anyone else concerned about the animal abuse that occurs in this show? Whipping his dog? Making him do extreme labor in the middle of the night? This will not stand!

You know, I’ve been watching this show for awhile now and I’m convinced that the Roast Beast the Grinch is carving and serving never gets any smaller…

I think the biggest reason of all that his heart is so small and his temper is so bad is that they just haven’t put a Starbucks up on his mountain. He’s obviously pissed that he has to travel all the way to Whoville to get an Egg Nog latte!

Santa Clause is Coming to Town

Now you know that a bunch of movie executives sat around and came up with the idea of a lost penguin for this show. I mean, really, why else would that be there? This is why the Writers Guild exists, folks; to prevent these kinds of tragedies!

Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer

I want to be a Bumble. First, he bounces when he falls; awesome! I’d be jumping off buildings and bouncing everywhere. Second, his job lasts 5 seconds. All he has to do is put the star at the top of the tree, collect his paycheck, and play the rest of the day!

I’m having trouble with the part where Rudolf leaves Cornelius and the elf in the middle of the night and in doing so leaves the door wide open….at the North Pole! Don’t you think they’d wake up and figure that one out right away as icicles start forming on their drool?

14 comments:

Kanrei said...

I never saw Frosty Returns either, but the others are classics to me. I loved take on them though. One would have thought they would have noticed Rudolf leaving in the middle of a snowy cold night when the door was open.

What about the great one with the Burgermeiser (sp?) and a young Santa? I loved that one as well. I think it was my favorite actually, although that could be because it was an hour long.

Remember the great CBS Special introduction they used in the 70's before these specials were aired? I still see it in my head sometimes. I think I need help.

Kanrei said...

Oh wait...I think that one was "Santa Clause is Coming to Town." Nevermind the bullocks...

GC said...

I am not even going to netflix these

Kurt said...

Good points all. As for Frosty Returns, I never cottoned to any of the latter day Xmas specials.

Cindrarella said...

I saw Frosty Returns. I wish I hadn't. There shouldn't be sequels to these shows, you know?

Did you notice that Jessica (in santa clause is coming to town) looks just like morgan fairchild? it bugs me.

Serena Joy said...

You make some valid points -- and raise some troubling questions. Where DID Lucy get that degree, and why has the AMA not been notified? Or Homeland Security, since she may have committed identity theft?

I'll probably have nightmares tonight about the abusive Grinch, melting Snowmen, and Frozen reindeer.:)

VE said...

kan - I actually don't remember the introduction. I wonder if its out in Youtube land somewhere.

gc - Welcome. Yes, avoid the sequel at all cost. Now the originals, all classic but I think you had to have grown up with them to really say so.

kurt - That seems to be the same for most people. I haven't found much of the latter stuff I like. Perhaps National Lampoons Xmas vacation and Home Alone but those aren't in the same category either.

cindra - Morgan Fairchild? Now you've ruined it for me... LOL

sj - It's always some idiot like me that has to ruin the fun stuff for everyone, huh? Just when you thought it was safe to watch those...

elasticwaistbandlady said...

I'm a mom of 6 kids. That means I'm forced to watch every crap holiday movie thats released. Like my own little level of purgatory.

Mr. Fabulous said...

Damn it! Now I have that dancing music from the Peanuts Christmas special in my head.

Sigh

VE said...

ewl - Welcome. I'll say a little prayer for you then

mrfab - Sorry. Could be worse; could be that "It's a small world" song from Disneyland...

Jeff said...

You can only be a Bumble if you let some elf dental student yank out all your teeth first. Is that really what you want?

BottleBlonde said...

You're like the Siskel and Ebert of Christmas shows. I give Frosty Returns two nipples down.

VE said...

jeff - It might be worth it to bounce around. I like Clam Chowder and jello...

bottleblonde - You should trademark that nipple rating; I have a feeling it would be quite popular!

Marie said...

I watched the Grinch the other day with my kids, first time since I was 5 or so, and I had the exact same thoughts. When he was carving the beast, It looked like there would only be enough for four or five people, but they just kept passing and that was a huge table. Made me think of Milton and his elusive slice of birthday cake.