Monday, January 28, 2008

A Really Big Pool

The swimming pool at the resort of San Alfonso del Mar in Algarrobo city on the southern coast of Chile, some 62 miles west of Santiago is the now the worlds largest swimming pool.

It checks in at an amazing 3,323 ft in length, covers an area of eight hectares (20 acres), contains 250,000 cubic meters of water and is navigable in small boats.

“By producing such a large pool, we’ve taken a different approach to the problem of tourists peeing in the pool” remarks Juan Flush, pool supervisor.

“Most tourism pools are peed in and the amount of urine per gallon of pool water equates to an average of 3 percent. But by having the largest pool on Earth, we’ve been able to bring that percentage down to just .07 percent.” he goes on to explain.

“It’s really a great pool” adds Manuel Labor, resort groundkeeper. “Rumor has it Nessy, Scotland’s great Loch Ness mystery, vacations here…”

Of course, there is the “Caddyshack” concern here. A simple candybar could devastate this pool. “Yes…it would take a lot of time to drain and scrub it down” admits Juan. They were thinking ahead though…no candybars are available anywhere on the premises and pool users and searched before entering.

After the initial opening and the loss of a swimmer for several days, locators are now mandatory for all participants. “Yes, it was a scary time…it took many long hours to locate him. He’d drifted out to the outer most corner of the pool and even the search dogs had lost his scent. He survived out there without a lounge chair, a fruity rum drink or anything!” ponders Manuel. Gutsy!

Rumor has it the reality show Survivor might be considering building a little island in the middle and staging a future season there. “We might have them foraging and begging scraps of food from fat tourists” recalled the host, Jeff, during a phone interview.

Either way, this is one impressive pool. Everyone should travel the 6 or 7 thousand miles to be able to enjoy it…


Mother Theresa said...

Oooh, first! I hope they don't let little kids in that pool, they do more than just pee, you know...and then you could call it "a really big poo." ;)

Unknown said...

I am having chlorine nightmares from those pools. My eyes! My eyes!

Uncivil said...

I had no idea pool "pee" ratios were so important?
I'm always concerned about the feces ratio of the Northeast Cape Fear near my house where I swim.
I'm mainly concerned about the alligator feces ratio!

Kurt said...

The people in Dubai must be envious.

Jeff and Charli Lee said...

I guess it's a good thing they put that sucker in... what with the ocean being a whole 100 feet away and all.

Ed said...

theresa - Ewwww. Of course the alternative is the ocean where every river in the world ultimately spills into...imagine how much poo is in there!

kan - Goggles...just wear goggles.

uncivil - Pee and poo ratios are very important. I'd be glad to make up some more for you.

kurt - I know; I'm not sure their country is big enough to top the one in Chile...

jeff - 100 feet of scorching sand and then salt water that fat weary tourists have to endure? Boy are you uncaring!!! ;)

Anne said...

Juan Flush-- hahahahahahahah

Ed said...

anne - Can't say that about my plumbing at home unfortunately.

Anonymous said...

Holy hell! I'd have some major leg cramps going on just trying to swim an eighth of that bad boy.

That is a huge mother!!!!

Serena said...

Wow, wonders never cease. Since it's navigable by small boats, is there an inlet from the pool to the ocean? Seems a shame to have to drag boats 100 feet.

Aside to Uncivil -- I was on the Cape Fear just this past Christmas. I love that part of the country. Well, except for the alligator feces, of course.

Carla said...

Just .07%...not that's what really caught my eye.

Nessa said...

Wouldn't a pool that size be called a lake?

Ed said...

pp - That's why I avoid swimming. Floating is much more relaxing...

sj - I bet they have a ramp so you can do cool boat jumps like in a James Bond movie...

carla - Of course you realize 70% of statistics are made up (I made up that one too)

nessa - According to dictionary dot com a lake is a body of salt or fresh water. This cholorinated monster is neither so I guess not.

justacoolcat said...

umm . . . yeah . . .. it was a candy bar . .

Gnomeself Be True said...

See, first thing I thought was "peeing in the pool."
Now I have nothing to say.

the frogster said...

Give me enough coffee beforehand and I bet I could raise the pee content by a good half percent.

Ed said...

justacoolcat - Well come to think of it, it tasted bitter...

iamnot - Just shows great minds (think insane...) think alike

frogster - As Madonna said to Tom Hanks in League of their Own, "Wow, mister, that's some peeing!"

Maureen said...

Hahahaha! Love the Survivor comment... great post.

Ed said...

maureen - I used to be a Survivor fan but somewhere along the way realized that reality TV is "bully mentality" and I don't support that kind of thing so I stopped watching.

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