Wednesday, January 09, 2008

A Whole Lot of Nonsense

Ok, a bunch of randomness today...

First off, what's up with EVERYONE voting to have "invisibility" as their super power? Just what exactly were you all planning to do with that power? I suspect some unethical behaviors will be occuring. Go ahead, shock me with your secret plans for invisibility...

Just when I finish ripping Britney for being bi-polar she's back in the news having had her car towed because she parked it in the street. Hmmm...I thought the rich and famous could always park anywhere they want. I see Robin Williams just parking his car right on the Golden Gate bridge to take a nice scenic walk. Regis is always parking right in the middle of Times Square and grabbing some take out... What's the big deal?

Apparently I can't seem to report on the Spears family quick enough. I'm afraid I'm going to have to post hourly and have a wireless port inserted into my head so I can get instantaneous downloads of breaking Spears news from the net... Seems now the family is blaming Dr. Phil for violating patient/doctor confidentiality and him going public with statements. Isn't that sort of like asking a drug addict to hold a pound of herion for you but don't use it? Isn't that like telling the paparazzi something "off the record" and expecting them to honor it? Duh!

My favorite news story of late: Apparently two guys were arrested for wheeling some dead guy down the street in an office chair and into a store so that they could cash his Social Security check! I'd be really interested to understand their crime plan! Just how on Earth did they think that scenario would work? I think they were watching "Weekend at Bernies" a bit too many times. Sometimes you just cannot make up things that are more bizarre than the truth.

I'm going to try an experiment. You know all those nasty fast food items that they advertise are available only for a limited time? I'm going to buy a bunch of them and freeze them and then later sell them on ebay when they are no longer available! That's right, I'll have the only McRib sandwiches available and I'll make millions on ebay from hungry gullible Americans...

So the other day I was stuck on a single lane highway behind this slow truck and I looked at the sticker on the truck and it said: "Watco. We're behind you all the way". I thought that quite ironic to stick a motto like that on the BACK of their trucks. Maybe they should add "except when we're going slow in front of you..."

14 comments:

iamnot said...

I'm pretty sure if I had the invisibility thing, I'd make myself rich at the expense of the casinos.
Then I'd visit the show-girl dressing room.

Hey, no one said I had to be mature with my powers.

VE said...

iamnot - Hah, I got to the dressing room first. You'll have to queue up behind all the rest of the invisible pervs. I like the casino idea though...maybe they could make that a movie and call it Oceans 0!

Shawna said...

I actually have a superpower already:

cockblocking

No joke, I'm the queen of helping friends get rid of slimey guys hitting on them!

It must be my charm....;)

Kanrei said...

I was planning on doing probably exactly what you thought/feared I was planning on doing while invisible. I wonder if the stains would be invisible as well...

Cindrarella said...

You are crazy.

Those guys should have gone invisible before they took the dead guy in there...then they could have animated him without anyone knowing he was dead. Dummies.

Time to vote at TGQDC!!!

VE said...

shawna - How about slimy girls hitting on guys?

kan - Hah! Thought-provoking notion. I have no idea on about the stains. You work on that one.

Cindrarella - Well, what's invisible with those guys is their intelligence! Hey, that's right...it's time to vote!

Kurt said...

I think you're forgetting the infectious "Gimme More." If she can sing a song that brilliant, I think she should be able to behave however she wants it public. She's a genius!

Serena Joy said...

There's just something about invisibility that speaks to my soul. And not just because of the multitude of sins I'd be able to get away with -- including taking dead guys for a spin.:-)

Why not let Dr. Phil keep up with breaking Spears news? He can take the heat, which will free you up to get those eBay items freeze-dried and ready to go. Someday you'll be able to charge a king's ransom for a McRib.:)

VE said...

kurt - You must be like Britney's number one fan! She might be able to get you a copier ;)

sj - That's a good idea to delegate to Dr. Phil. You have management potential there!

Marie said...

I tried that with Vanilla Coke. Bought loads of it when they phased it out in '04, figured I'd resell it for a fortune after a year or two. Then they brought it back. Good thing I like Vanilla Coke.

Camille Alexa said...

what's up with EVERYONE voting to have "invisibility" as their super power?

People like to either a) hang out naked without other people giving them a hard time or b)hang out around other people while they're naked without causing a stir.

Not me. I'd have voted for elasticity. No more sucking in the beer belly: just skinnify the middle. Fit any vintage dress you want. Reach the top shelf in the kitchen. Et cetera.

Kelley said...

You wont need to freeze that shit from Maccas. I went on holidays once IN SUMMER and left a cheeseburger in my glove box. Came back, was told that it was there by my not-so-funny housemate and it didn't look any different. Or smell..... Apparently there is a chick in New Zealand with a cheeseburger that is 8 years old. No mould... OMG.

I didn't vote, cause you didn't have the super power I want. I want to be able to transform into Britney at will.

Theresa said...

Can't I just have all the superpowers? Why do we have to choose? Can you imagine what it would be like to be invisible at will, have extraordinary flexiblity, super speed and strength? Ah, the things we could do...I would fix up my bureaucratic headaches for starters. Those bureaucrats would be no match for Invisiflexispeedistrong-girl!

Corrina said...

I think the Spears' family should be grateful that Dr. Phil got near their crazy daughter in the first place.