Wii oh Wii

Damn my neighbors. They all went broke buying one of those damn Wii systems for their spoiled children at Christmas and now I’m stuck as the evil suburban dad that didn’t either wait in this stupid line:

Or go online to Ebay and bid on a Wii system for this much money:

You know a company has a supply/demand problem when there are businesses set up to actually charge you money and they will track down where an available Wii system is and then text you so you can go racing over to the store to get it.

But wait a minute. I’m a resourceful guy. I can do this on my own. I watched Oceans 11, 12 and 13 and if they can do that, I can certainly find a Wii system.

Where do I start? I know…I’ll start where they start. According to my crack team of researchers, the Wii systems are made in North Bend, WA. Hey…that’s not that far away.

Of course, a secret recognizance mission out to the factory revealed that it would be all but impossible to infiltrate this compound.

I’d have to focus on the shipping. I set up a surveillance station.

Thirteen Snicker bars, a couple bags of Nacho Cheeze Doritos, Astronaut diapers, and a whole lot of energy drinks later, I’d identified the shipment trucks.

Oh how sneaky….using unidentified white trucks. Checking my newly acquired mobile map device; the same device used by the CIA and the NSA…I quickly identify the potential routes out of the factory. I’ll follow the truck and set up a detour and then an ambush site.

Having purchased official looking white sedans and untraceable explosives, I set my trap and execute…

Perfect. I have a truckload of Wii systems all to my own. I jump out to grab my prize only to realize to my horror that they are all melted. Errr….I might have used too much explosives.

I retire to my home and call to order a system for next May…like the rest of the world.