Friday, February 15, 2008

Hair – Part 3

Welcome back to part 3 of our multi-part post on yet another mundane subject: Hair

If you haven’t read the previous two posts on this, get your ass back there and read it. Remember, reading the posts backwards will either make you look like John Lennon or an idiot. But I digress…

Let’s focus on some female fashions. First of all, what’s with the never ending change? I know we all have to be “different”, but do you really have to look like a feather duster?

Ok, if you are a Cyclops then that style might work. Otherwise…it’s trying too hard.

And there is a never ending collage of hair styles for women.

The Beehive hairdo is interesting. It really hasn’t had a full scale resurge either. Thank God! Sure, it’s great if your only 5 feet tall and want to gain a little more vertical without bringing out the stilt pump shoes.

I don’t think Amy Whinehouse is helping to resurrect the style either. Oh, but if you are going to wear this hairdo then you might consider the bee wardrobe line:

Corn rows are another odd one. The next particular style is quite popular during the fall season when gourds are ripe…

Now a couple more styles that must be addressed here are the Mullet and Dread Locks. These don’t necessarily need to be either sex, but they are both just wrong.

First of all, just because you don’t want to EVER wash your hair doesn’t mean you should get dread locks. I’m sorry, but that guy looks like he’s wearing a couple of dead animals on his head. His hair probably smells like it too.

Now mullets, like all compromises, don’t really satisfy anyone. You just can’t have it all people. Pick short hair or long. Grow a spine and choose! Otherwise you could end up with this:

Because…that is just wrong!

16 comments:

Jeff said...

That's more than just wrong... that's scary!

Matt-Man said...

I think it is refreshing when people say screw it and just be themselves, but that last picture clearly demonstrates that too much self-esteem and self expression is not always a good thing. Cheers!!

Marie said...

You'd be amazed at how my husband and I argue over hair. He wants to shave his head, which would make him look like ... a fat bald guy. And he wants my son to get a buzz, which I call either the "I had lice" look or the "I live in a trailer look."

VE said...

jeff - Yes, it's true; but sacrifices must be made in name of humor...

matt-man - You mean sort of like really heavy women wearing a thong at the beach?

marie - The trailer look is going to be the best BIG fad. Tayna Harding almost pulled it off years ago but I think we can turn this into THE style of the next generation

Jen said...

that mulletman
is HOTTTTTTTTTTTT

VE said...

Jen - You scare me sometimes!

RED MOJO said...

The guy with the mullet, probably drives an El Camino, and always orders surf and turf at restaurants.
I like it here, I'll be back!

VE said...

red mojo - Welcome. You've obviously got some experience with this type of person...

The same for your blog...I've already added it; hilarious

GC said...

hey, I would like to defend the gourd-style cornrow lady
sometimes in the fall season one can get a tactical advantage on would-be finders by hiding in a field of gourds with a hairstyle like that. Your hide-and-seek opponents walk right by you while you barely contain a guffaw.

VE said...

gc - Dang, seems like an unfair advantage. Hide and seek is a competitive game though and I guess one has to do what one can. Good call out!

Kurt said...

That last doo is hands down the most horrible haircut ever. Kudos

Alan Smithee said...

Alan Smithee is impressed by the beadth of your knowledge of hair.

VE said...

kurt - Yes, we see eye to eye on that point.

as - VE is impressed that Alan Smithee does impressions

Kelley said...

That last one is clearly confused or a hermaphrodite.

I had to check closely, cause the bottom half looks like a womans body. So long for the chick and short for the bloke.

That mullet makes sense.

The other day a woman with a mullet and ONE FREAKING ARM, looked at my son like he was a freak. I wanted to punch her, but, like, she had ONE ARM and that would be wrong. Wouldn't it???

VE said...

kelley - You could have smacked her with one arm behind your back!

Serena Joy said...

I don't know why I should be surprised these days to learn that I could go out in public with a gourd on my head. But I am. I think the animal control folks should speak to the guy sporting Mullet Dreads, though. That ain't hair; he's smuggling two dead animals on his head.:)