Saturday, February 16, 2008

Natural Ability

Since Carla tagged me recently and I don’t do meme’s anymore I thought…you know, many people (3) wonder who the real VE is. Let me share this post with you to give you a better insight…

There are really only two things that just seem to come as natural to me as flipping the bird does to Avril Lavigne: mazes and song parodies. I’m only going to write about mazes in this post since the average attention span for any blog is something like one minute.

The mazes started from sheer boredom in high school. Other kids would drool, make spit wads, or scribble. I would make mazes. Eventually, I’d give them to my drooling friends to solve so they wouldn’t dehydrate themselves during our lesson on why the Spanish hated the English who hated the French or some political love triangle like that.

They were all hand drawn and looked like this:

But they got more complicated and more difficult. Eventually, I had a full page article in the newspaper back when I was 17. I even had a few fans write me letters. They didn’t call them stalkers back then; the times were a little more innocent.

But then I put them away and pursued more interesting things in life: girls, cars, money. Eventually I settled down into a corporate world and like high school before, I grew bored. How many Powerpoint presentations could I possibly make for these endless meetings on things that really don’t matter to me anymore?

Since I never really grew up (if you’ve read my blog for awhile you know this to be true) I did what any overgrown kid would do in my situation with my limited talent. I used Powerpoint to draw mazes. Suddenly it made it a whole lot easier. Here are a couple of examples:




Needless to say, by hand or by computer, I can crank these things out without really even thinking. Like everything I can do well, I just assumed everybody could too. Apparently that is not the case. Perhaps you are lucky; it has no real purpose really; just a mild amusement for preventing boredom drool. It’s the least I can do…

14 comments:

RED MOJO said...

I love your mazes! You are right about natural ability, it is hard to believe that things that come naturally to you, aren't just as easy for everyone else.

Serena Joy said...

The fact that mazes come naturally to you scares me. My main recurring nightmare features a maze. Next time I have it, I'm hoping you'll be able to tell me the secret of getting out of there.:)

VE said...

red mojo - Welcome. Thanks.

sj - Don't worry; I also have an uncanny ability to solve mazes by others on my first try.

Kurt said...

In meetings, I usually take the handouts and rewrite them to amuse myself. Luckily, us teachers have this PC "right to pass" that I use whenever I'm called on so my projects do not get interrupted.

VE said...

kurt - I wish I had a right to pass. Actually, if I got paid by the meeting instead, I probably could have retired long ago

Theresa said...

Wow, those are impressive, dizzying, but impressive. So, you are good at something else besides cranking out hilarious posts. ;)

You should do video games.

VE said...

theresa - Thanks. Video Games? I remember a game called Wolfenstein and it was pretty violent but it was first person oriented and there was an optional feature that let you design your own level; I turned it into a giant maze and didn't put in any of the violent parts...not what they had in mind when they built that feature, I'm sure.

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

u have talent sister, and flipping the bird, not u....LOL

GC said...

like Monk always says, "It's a gift and a curse"

Carla said...

That's pretty cool...especially since it helps combat the drool factor. Thanks for playing along.

VE said...

torrence - Thanks...and I'm pretty sure that's the first time anyone has called me 'sister' before.

gd - Are you saying I'm like Monk? ;)

carla - Proper drool hydration is an important and often overlooked item

Jeff said...

VE, those are amazing!

Was I really the first one to use that pun?

But seriously, I'm very impressed with your work. Maybe you could publish more of these and put them together on a special link. I would definitely download them and play with them... you know, during the boring phone meetings I'm always in.

VE said...

Jeff - Thanks. Perhaps I should put them out somewhere for people to use in meetings. I'll let you know if I do.

Kelley said...

Bastard. I just spent ages working out the freaking mazes.

My time is precious you know. I have people to stalk and idiots to ridicule....

I was hoping for a nekkid shot though. Damnit. I needed a giggle.