Wednesday, February 20, 2008

This is Where VE Randomly Muses

Aack, I've been playing with an audio post lately. Yes, that's right, VE was moving to another medium to drivel with. But damn if I can make that little player pop up so that you can just play the audio with. I hosted the audio clip, I found the code, I inserted it and changed to my file but it doesn't work. Auuuggghhh! So....no audio for you yet. You'll have to suffer with randominity (another VE word...)

This whole Wesley Snipe thing has me so distraught. The poor guy. If somebody had just told him about HR Block he might not have to visit the cell block instead.

This just in from the world of sports…

Apparently organizers of the Tour de France will be doing an “American Idol” like competition of get riders for this years race. It seems all the existing professionals have been banned because of drug scandals. “We’ll take anyone not wearing a drip IV” says the race director.

Have you ever wondered if hard core smoker addicts think Nicotine gum is for the in-between time it takes to light up another cigarette? Oh well, every little bit helps planet overpopulation.

When I hear Kiki Dee sing “I’ve got the music in me” all I can think of is “Does it hurt?” “Will it give you gas?” And just who is Kiki Dee anyway? So she had some obscure hit in the 70s and then she had that whole thing with Elton John (at the lowest point of his career in my opinion). I like the name Kiki though. Of course, I always think it’s really Kinky…

Bad news…eating nothing but fast food every single day damages your liver. Who would have thought? I’m sure glad they hired a bunch of desperate idiots to prove that ground breaking discovery.
Good news…it apparently boosts our good cholesterol. Do you get the feeling science hasn’t quite figured out all this stuff yet? Remember when eggs were bad for you then they weren’t? Remember when it was bad to eat beef, then Atkins came along? WTF?

Oh, and what the hell is up with selling white toilet plungers? Are you kidding me? These should be sold in brown and have some sort of white design in it to disguise the dried on toilet paper really on them.

25 comments:

RED MOJO said...

I've never seen a white plunger, but you can be sure Kiki Dee had something to do with it! Sick Bitch.
I don't need fast food to screw up my liver, I've got booze!

VE said...

red mojo - Oh, I get it now...use the plunger on Kiki Dee and it will remove the music that's all plugged up in her...

Kanrei said...

Now I have Kiki singing "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" with a dirty toilet plunger stuck in my head. I suppose that is better than the plunder being stuck somewhere else though...

VE said...

kan - Doh! You had to bring up that song, didn't you? Dancing white plungers in your head? That would be weird...

iamnot said...

Wow. Never seen a picture of Kiki before.
I hate that song.

Did I mention Yvonne Craig?

VE said...

iamnot - Everybody hates that song! I'm glad you brought me back to a happy place by mentioning Yvonne Craig...again!

ChristineEldin said...

When about for the red stuff?

HAHAHAHAHAAAHAH!

(Girls really can out-gross boys)

VE said...

christine - Welcome. Oh sure, you had to bring THAT up! I try so hard to run a family blog... Cheers!

Shieldmaiden96 said...

I hate that plunger. It looks like it would house an inordinate amount of crap scrap after a few uses.

VE said...

sheildmaiden96 - Welcome. Yeah, those are "pringle flavor ridges", those are "crap collectors" on that design!

Kurt said...

You definitely don't want to watch this, then.

Kanrei said...

I am not making any Wesley jokes right now. He is in Florida, on trial, a black belt, and pissed. This does not add up to a good situation for a wannabe vampire with a sarastic streak.

VE said...

kurt - That's not funny!

kan - Good points. I don't think I would either...but you're going to have to face him before you can take over the world you know.

Serena Joy said...

Kan has given me an earworm. Don't go breaking my heart, tra-la, tra-la. Thank you, Kan.

Bummer about the audio clip. Soon, maybe? I don't have an IV drip. Look for me at the Tour de France this year. Oh, and I'm calling my Congressman. There should be a law against white toilet plungers. It's indecent!

sprinkle4 said...

I would much rather eat a cheeseburger every day than the cardboard and lettuce diet the doctor has my husband on. If the high blood pressure doesn't kill him...boredom will take him out.

How do you get the music in you? IV drip perhaps?

I have a black toilet plunger. I'm the only female in a house full of guys and I'm not stupid.:)

Marie said...

OMG! You said "muses!"

VE said...

sj - That's so cool you'll be in the Tour de France. Pick up a vile of something for me...

sprinkle4 - Welcome. I try to refrain from cardboard and lettuce sandwhiches; too much fiber. I'm not sure how she got the music in her. It's a mystery...

marie - I didn't actually say it...because I cannot get the g*d d**m audio to work. I think I did write it though. I was going to use oopsy daisy but they already used that in Nottinghill...

Scary Monster said...

Me wanna use me plunger as a baton to conduct the worlds first Kiki Dee symphony extravaganza!

Stomp.

VE said...

sm - Wow. A scary monster visit. I'm honored. Glad to see you're out and about, my friend. I see you found the perfect use for a white plunger...

Uncivil said...

I had to youtube Kiki? It's all coming back to me now! Must have been all the drugs I did back in the 70's?

VE said...

uncivil - Yeah, isn't it sad when you have to research your own era to remember!

theoffendedblogger said...

Wow, your brain wanders more than an old guy with alzheimers! :p

I did not read the part about fast food and the damage it does to my liver, though. I skipped it because I love McDonald's french fries.

Jacki said...

Very creative blog roll idea. ;-) No this has nothing to do with your post, but well...

Theresa said...

Plungers are still brown here, but as soon as the word gets out about the white ones, everyone will be wanting one. Monkey see, monkey do, or in this case monkey want, is alive and well in Spain. Except that here they say "culo veo, culo quiero" (butt I see, butt I want). WTF? I still can't figure out why anyone would want someone else's butt, but hey, it takes all kinds.

VE said...

offended - Have your fries and don't worry about it. Science will say their the best thing since Tofu probably...

jacki - Thanks, it's my way of thanking those that do read and comment.

theresa - That's a translation glitch, isn't it?