Thursday, March 13, 2008

Having Fun and being outrageous with MeMe’s

Well, Christy tagged me for a meme and I do appreciate the compliment to being tagged. Now, as a rule I don’t do them. Heck, I even challenged people to change their attitude and translate to Themthems. But Christy did have a hilarious twist to hers so why not go ahead and have some fun with it.

Four Guilty Pleasures
- Gluing quarters to the park sidewalk and watching people try and pick them up
- Trying to raise ebay auctions as high as possible without ending up the winner
- Adding an additional bar with my sharpie so that none of the bar codes at the store will scan and they need a price check for everything
- Swapping covers on the Ladies Home Journal magazine with the covers from Playboy

Four Favorite Foods
- Liverwurst stuffed dill pickles
- Juicing my Big Mac
- Chocolate covered chocolate in-between chocolate bars covered with chocolate frosting and submerged in a chocolate pudding then served on a chocolate plate
- Guacamole Ice Cream with Anchovy bits

Four things that make me Smile
- Bullies that force my mouth into one
- Checking for leftover steak in-between my teeth after a meal
- Photo shots where I’m told to
- Dealing with scary looking crazy people to avoid being killed

Four Artists I’m listening to Right Now
- Mozart - Unplugged
- Britney Spears - Plugged
- Toilet Sounds to Fall to Sleep To – Unplugged
- Toilet Sounds to Fall to Sleep To – Plugged

And if that wasn’t enough, how about this meme I found at random just for amusement:

How would you describe yourself?
Using adjectives

What is your life’s purpose?
It’s multi-faceted. As soon as I finish arresting and convicting do-goody people for violating Murphy’s Law I’m going to apply complex mathematical equations and Doppler 2000 to scientifically explain that Microsoft Windows is the real reason for global warming and the decline of drive-in theatres in America.

What do your friends think of you?
I like to hang out with friends that don’t think at all. Sometimes I’ll dig up a buddy down at the cemetery and play Ouiji for hours. Other times, I’ll just hang out with the local politicians while they blabber on without end. They don’t really listen and they talk way to fast to actually be thinking so it’s fun to add amusing statements during their blabbering like “Hey, rather than abortion, perhaps we could use them for cosmetics testing”; innocent little things like that…

What do you think about very often?
Why glue doesn’t have to perpetually rotate like cement to prevent it from solidifying in it’s container? How you can have interstate freeways in Hawaii? Why do they even call them interstate? Shouldn’t they be called outtastate? Why do they call it lipstick if women have to keep reapplying it? Why doesn’t phonetic sound the way it is spelled? Shouldn’t it be funetick? Why do they call it tourist season if we cannot get a license and go hunt them? How come sheep don’t shrink in the rain? In the ant world, isn’t it being redundant if you refer to your mother’s sister as Aunt ant?

What is your wedding day going to be like?
Like totally, like tubular. Like she’ll be all like this and say like that and I’ll be all that and like totally say all this. Like if I hear like one more time I'll be like...

What is your life story?
A tragedy sold in paperback under the humor category but is out of print and only found in the rare used book store with pages missing due to alleged substance usage. Critics will have overlooked it thinking it to be science fiction and therefore out of their domain for review and science fiction critics will have ignored it because there was no robot, hot alien chick, or weird space image on the cover.

What do you want to be when you grow up?
Actually, I’m trying to grow down now. All this fighting gravity is a big waste of effort. Plus, everything should work on a perfect bell curve. You know, a bigger and bigger house until eventually you start to downsize to the point that your being spoon fed baby food in the local senior center where you have a cot and a picture of your family that no longer have any time to visit you.

What will they play at your funeral?
I’m hoping they’ll start with Battleship and cheat the way my friends always did by subtle movements of your ships whenever your opponent guesses a position that would actually be a hit. Sometimes it’s also fun to “hang” the aircraft carrier out beyond the edge of the actual board so that nobody can actually sink it. Then, I hope they play Risk so that while battling with large groups of armies you strategically leave several armies in your hand and as you take away the ones you were supposed to have lost, you can actually increase your army count without knowing it. Finally Monopoly so they can deploy strategic cheating methods such as making a deal with another player to sell them their missing Monopoly property just in time for them to buy hotels right as the third opponent comes up and then once you’ve taken all their money, they liquidate the hotels and sell the property back to you with interest.

What is your hobby/interest?
I enjoy collecting scrolls from Alexandria; particularly from the collection that burned when the library burned down. I have a large ash tray next to the Lazy Boy chair that I keep them in. I also like to collect coffee grounds to add to my coffee table. It’s currently 7 inches deep and contains 147 different coffee blends.

I’ll tag all of you; go ahead and comment any of your own particulars to any of these questions. I dare you to be as ridiculous!

26 comments:

Mascota said...

holy shit. i gotta come back when i can look this over properly but i wanted to thank you for coming by my site; yes it's body butter. No overnight camping at my house!!

Serena Joy said...

The occasional MeMe can be fun, but I also like the idea of ThemThems and YouYous.:)

VE said...

mascota - Ok then. Thought I'd do some blog surfing from matt-man's blog and ended up at your place...

sj - I do the memes in other people's comments, not on my blog. It doesn't fit with my particular style; which is that I have none.

leelee said...

Strangely I understood and agreed with everything you wrote today..

VE said...

leelee - I'm sorry...

leelee said...

I know..I'm a bit frightened by this revelation :-O

iamnot said...

Cheat...you can't tag everyone.

VE said...

iamnot - That's the great thing about having your own blog...you can do all those things you're not supposed to. I see nobody has had the GUTS (read stupidity) to step up and add to my ridiculousness!

justacoolcat said...

The bully took my ridiculous features and my lunch money.

Kanrei said...

I see nobody has had the GUTS (read stupidity) to step up and add to my ridiculousness!

I would say "ability." You took the VE formula and amped it up even more. Impossible standards today.

Theresa said...

How do you come up with this stuff? I'm sure none of us could come up with anything better than that. :)

VE said...

justacoolcat - I hate that bully; give him some guacamole ice cream.

kan - Sorry...I took some steroids yesterday for the poison oak I got over the weekend and they seem to have amped my writing too

theresa - If I've stumped you; I must be insane. I don't know where it comes from; I just kept writing and suddenly there it was

Kurt said...

I like "What will they play at your funeral?" How will I know? I think that should read "What are they promising they will play at your funeral?" Who knows what they'll actually play, if there's a they.

VE said...

Kurt - Good point. "They" would probably go and play Wildfire just to spite me, damnit! But since my New Years Goal was again to live forever, I've got that covered...

Mr. Fabulous said...

I might actually eat Liverwurst stuffed dill pickles...

Jeff said...

I can't keep up with you. I go out of town for 3 days and you write like 35 posts.

At your funeral everyone will be cheating on the games... but if you had learned to cheat death you wouldn't even be there. Eh?

RED MOJO said...

That funeral comment has me worried about if there will be a "they" and who "they" might be. OH GOD, I don't want to die alone!
Hold me.
I might take one of these memes from you and give it a shot. Check me tomorrow night.

VE said...

mr. fab - Your not pregnant are you? It's a dangerous combination...

jeff - That's a good point and living forever is my annual New Years Resolution but we are only human and I cannot guarantee eternal life so I've got to have a contingency plan. That plan is to post 35 times per day and to have "they" play board games and cheat! It's a simple plan...

red mojo - Yeah, I worry about "they" too. I know they will make the damn funeral formal and they know how I hate formal. They'll probably make everyone do kareoke and dance too, damn them! Yes, have fun with the meme's all I'll check in.

Kelley said...

You had me at 'How would you describe yourself?
Using adjectives'

I worship at the altar of VE, just after I finish the Hello Kitty one.

VE said...

kelley - Why thank you dearie! You are so kind.

Barry Nong said...

My lifes purpose is to use up as much oxygen as I can.

VE said...

barry - You are doing a great job so far!

Jacki said...

I don't think I could come up with anything near as creative as this.

VE said...

jacki - That's ok. My drivel just flows; sometimes its creative, sometimes it's dumb

ChristineEldin said...

LOL at your self-description! I appreciate writer humor.

VE said...

christine - It's a sad reality...