Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Things to ponder…

Ok, you guys were waaay too good with the character game. Obviously you all need lives...

I'll cut you some slack today and let you ponder a few thoughts since you did so well yesterday...

Does anyone ever look good wearing ear muffs?

How long do you think you would be able to keep a Tupperware bowl of cottage cheese in the employee fridge if you tape a note that says “I just put this in here” on it?

If society suddenly became cannibals, how would we classify what is dark meat and what is white meat without being considered racist?

There is no position available to the modern male that will allow him to carry his spouse’s purse past a construction zone without his manliness being scrutinized for entertainment.

Do they reserve the middle row for handicap viewing at Drive-In theaters?

I’ve never seen anyone strip at a strip mall.

Wheel of Fortune just wouldn’t be as challenging using the Hawaiian language. With only 12 letters, five of which are vowels, you can see what would happen. “I’d like to buy a vowel, Pat” and wham, suddenly you have 17 letter U’s and you’ve solved the puzzle…


If I own my own land, how deep down do I own it? Can I build like 14 sub-levels of secret living space just like the government?

Maybe we should combine vending machine technology to refrigerators so that instead of just opening the fridge over and over thinking something miraculous like a missed slice of double chocolate cake will appear out of thin air, the vending machine part could actually add something to the fridge secretly at different times.

What are marbles made of? If they aren't made out of marble, why do they call them that?

If an athiest goes to court, what do they do? Since they don't believe a God exists, how can they swear on a Bible and be expected to tell the truth?

22 comments:

RED MOJO said...

After much ponderation, I have determined that all atheists are tell the truth.
here's the logic:
atheists don't believe anything they can't see.
If you prove it to them, they believe it.
They only believe facts
They hold facts sacred
Facts are true
Truth is sacred, therefore it is their religion
Non-truth is against their religion
Atheists don't lie.

VE said...

red mojo - Well thank God you figured that one out ;) Could you draw me a flow chart?

damon said...

Cannibals will tell ya, it's all pink inside.

VE said...

damon - Hah. Good one. As long as it's not to dry then...

Matt-Man said...

Try your little Hawaiian WOF bit with the word, "Poi". You'd have to buy TWO vowels, wouldn't ya Joy Boy? Okay, I got nuthin' here. Cheers!!

Marie said...

I think they'd go by body parts like we do with chicken. The skin color would only matter if the skin was left on and it was cooked in such a way that the color was obvious, in which case a chef would probably enjoy mixing a variety of colors together to make a meal prettier.

Why are green bell peppers so much cheaper than the red and yellow ones? They all taste the same.

VE said...

matt-man - Yes, Poi might be the culmination of tough Hawaiin Wheel of Fortune words...

Why even have red, yellow or green peppers? What causes the colors? And does it really matter since it'll all look like stomach salsa once you eat it anyway...

Kurt said...

I kind if like the lady with the earmuffs, and I wouldn't care whether she was white meat or dark meat.

VE said...

kurt - I wouldn't have taken you for an earmuff kind of guy...

Jacki said...

You know, I've never thought about how far deep we own our land. Good question!

NYD said...

How far up do we own our land?

If you have you woman in a fireman's cayy or the neanderthal drag whilst walking past with her handbag on your arm I am certain that you will get plenty of approbation.

Jen said...

you can only have
12 sub-levels of secret
living space

12... everyone knows
14 is against the law

Bunk Strutts said...

Damon-- That's a Jeffrey Dahmer quote.

Marie-- "Why are green bell peppers so much cheaper than the red and yellow ones? They all taste the same." That sounds racist to me.

VE-- Coupla thoughts:

If all people were dogs, would we have to drive with our heads out the window?

A friend of mine says that he never forgets a face. How would he know?

If your car could go at the speed of light, and you turned your headlights on, would the deer still stop?

Serena Joy said...

Those are certainly some perilous ponderables. The answer on the cottage cheese is 5 minutes. I don't think the cannibal question would become a problem, because once it's roasted it all looks the same. Those ear muffs scare me!:)

Jeffrey Ellis said...

Heh, great post, made me laugh on several levels.

Can you imagine "Wheel of Fortune" in Wales? "L!" It's all over!

ChristineEldin said...

Is that really a fish in Hawaii?! Too funny!
And love those muffs....

VE said...

jacki - Inquiring minds want to know!

nyd - Good question, will they object to my space elevator?

jen - Damn. Those darn government regulations. That totally blows my secret discotech and that road I was going to build under the city to my other property so I could drive without traffic...

bunk - Can you just swing by and do all my blog commenting? It's like I get everyone covered and a whole additional post to boot! Good additions!

sj - Are you saying somebody would dare to steal my cottage cheese?!

jeffrey ellis - Thanks. Yeah, and they'd probably still play WOF in Wales even though...

christine - It is a fish and a real Hawaiian word! One of their largest words too.

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

it would be there for years lol

Yes, my name is Arizona said...

Reminds me of a line from the movie, Addams Family Values....and I paraphrase:
Are Girl Scout cookies made from real Girl Scouts?

Barry Nong said...

I friend of mine who is a scaffolder tells me that construction sites are the best place to pick up guys and hes a very manly man....
The times they are a changin...

VE said...

torrance - Yeah, and that would not be pretty for somebody to peak into down the road!

arizona - Oh yeah, I remember that now. I don't think the cookies are made from real girl scouts though...

barry - Go figure. All the manly men are probably selling cosmetics now.

Bee said...

Those were earmuffs?? I just thought she was blessed with boob handles instead of ears!

I need to start hanging out with other women.