Thursday, March 06, 2008

West Wing Story – Part Two

The story of unfortunate love between a democrat and a republican set among the Washington political arena. Tune in to part two of our musical tragedy:

The scene unfolds with Hillary debating on what to wear to the “Dancing with the (has been) Stars” live show later that evening…

“Should I wear a power jump suit? What hideous color? What do you mean I have to wear a dress? Somebody will accuse me of being female?” she laments in the mirror…

In walk Barack Obama and John Edwards.

“Be sure she is well protected from the media tonight John,” Barack comments as he inspects the reality that Hillary is indeed female.

The scene fades and resumes on the dance floor. Hillary and the democrats have arrived. Immediately there is a division across the dance floor with the democrats dancing on the blue side of the floor, the republicans dancing on the red side of the floor and Ralph Nader in the middle by himself dancing aimlessly whilst bumping into others.

Suddenly John McCain comes in. Hillary and John spot each other and it’s as if the rest of the political hub-bub fades away.

John thinks to himself, “Wow, she’s like that one intern I once had only heavier, older, and more masculine. I must meet her!"

But the parties quickly divide them.
“Go back with your defense lobbyists” shouts Obama.
“Cuddle up with your tax people and stay away from us,” replies Huckabee.

Nobody ever got to actually see the has-been stars dance either. Marie Osmond tripped over Heather Mill’s artificial leg while lunging for a donut that had rolled off her snack plate and neither was able to make an appearance.

But McCain was able to discern the name of his interest: Hillary. He breaks into song:

The most beautiful sound I ever heard:
Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary . . .
All the beautiful sounds of the world in a single word. .
Hillary, Hillary, Hillary, Hillary . . .
I've just tangled with a she candidate named Hillary,
And suddenly I've found
How wonderful a sound
Can be!
Say it loud and it sounds really degrading,
Say it soft and it's like your voice is fading.

Meanwhile, Obama criticizes Hillary for fraternizing with the republicans. “All I’m saying is that I’m way more popular than you in the polls. Moves like this can hurt our party. He just wants you for other intentions.”

They end up on the roof of the Watergate Hotel and get into a practice debate over the virtues of America.

A song breaks out:

I like to be in America
O.K. by me in America
We’ll tax all the free in America

With a little for me in America!

I like the state of New York

Where their senator should have a cork

My people know a showboat

Too bad none of them will vote

Others (about her platform):
Complete healthcare in America
No more welfare in America
Neighborhoods will share in America

No one will care in America

The song ends and everyone departs. But John is on the prowl. Hillary is on the watch. Stay tuned for part three tomorrow.


RED MOJO said...

The pictures are crazy funny. I love the lyrics, actually the whole concept is pretty brilliant. Can't wait for part 3.

Ed said...

red mojo - Thanks. It was a fun project to do. Sometimes you can't find photos with the right angles but with political people, there are PLENTY of photos out there to use

leelee said...


really..this is fantastical!

I'm lovin' it!


Ed said...

leelee - It's like the engergizer bunny. It just keeps going and going.

Schmoop said...

Bravissimo VE. One request, don't get too creepy and show either McCain or Kucinich naked. Please?


Ed said...

matt-man - Don't nekkid photos in this story

Serena said...

I was afraid I might have to spend the day in bed after seeing Hillary in a dress, but the nausea passed. Please heed Matt-Man's wishes, though -- no nekkid pix. That really would cause my Pepto stock to go through the roof. I can't wait to see what comes next.:D

Ed said...

sj - Don't worry there, the plot follows the movie reasonably close.

justacoolcat said...

Dude. You are messed up.

When are you going to get to some dirty legislation?

Ed said...

justacoolcat - Sometimes you have to step over the edge. Dirty politics? Nice try; nobody gets plot previews! Serena tried that trick yesterday too.

Dee said...

There must be something you can do with celebrity meltdowns or have you done already?

Ed said...

gc - Well last Sep I did the Celebrity Survivor game. Take a look on my sidebar under "Best of VE"; there is a link there. That was a pretty popular post and one of my favorites. Perhaps that wasn't what you were envisioning though. Let me know.

dawn224 said...

I'm so in love with this!

Ed said...

dawn - Well good, because you've got two more parts to put up with!

Kurt said...

You've had enough compliments.

Ed said...

kurt - Yeah, but like all good Americans, I'm borrowing future compliments now and making the minimum thank you payments.

United Studies said...

I gotta admit, the pics are very creative. How long did it take you to make them? Kinda makes you feel like you are back in kindergarten with all the cutting and pasting, doesn't it?

Ed said...

jacki - It's ridiculous the effort it takes. First I find and save them. Then I have to convert them to a .gif file. This is the only file format that allows a transparent background. I used one software program to do that because it does the best conversion but the program is just too hard to learn so I move to another progrm to crop and shade. Then I use paint to erase to only what I want. Then, I go back to another program to make the background transparent. Finally, I put the picture together using powerpoint of all things. Things like photoshop are too complicated for me. But I've got it down to a system now and can do one fairly fast.

Jeff and Charli Lee said...

It just goes to show you what a person who only works 2(?) days a year can do!

Ed said...

jeff - That's one day per year there buddy. Don't double my workload! I'd be exhausted!

sprinkle4 said...

So, when are you mounting this production on Broadway? Singing "America" on the roof of the THAT is classic!

Barry Nong said...

HA HA very funny!

Could you do Grease next?

Mother Theresa said...

After reading that I feel pretty, oh so pretty...well, prettier than Hillary in any case. You should be writing for Hollywood, I'm sure movie and tv dialogs would improve if you were writing them. I am still rolling on the floor laughing at this post and the last one. Can't wait for the next installment. :D

Chris Eldin said...

OMG, This is hilarious!!! The photos crack me up!!

And I'm a big fan of West Side Story. Wish I could watch it now...

Chris Eldin said...

Do you really sell those exercise bubbles? I need one bad!

And your pets, wow!!! Such a hard-working team!

(Your blog is very funny!)

Ed said...

sprinkle4 - I should launch a play...well, except for those nasty lawsuits from my political players that is

barry - Seems like Grease is a popular request. I'll have to give some thought on that in the future.

theresa - Thanks. If I had to do it for a living, then it would be work...a concept I try and avoid!

christine - Yes, I'm a fan of WSS too. The exercise balls are back ordered until 2017 unfortunately. Seems a lot of people wanted them. I'd make the VE pet team help but that would be a factory animal abuse case waiting to happen!