Saturday, April 12, 2008

George Bush Facts

Back in 2005 a fun little bit of internet humor went viral. They were the “Chuck Norris Facts”. These were facts about how tough Chuck Norris was. Here are a few of my favorite to give you an idea:

- Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door
- Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding
- Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is
- Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac in Burger King…and got one!
- Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice

Then, like everything on the internet, the copycatting took off. Suddenly there were Bob Saget Facts. These emphasized sensitivity. For example: every night, the boogeyman checks under his bed for Chuck Norris; but then Bob Saget comes in, gives the boogeyman warm milk and quietly reads him a bedtime story.

Why not extend this to George Bush? Let’s emphasize dumb though….

- George Bush can trip over his cordless phone
- George Bush bought crampons and a rope to prepare for the Geneva summit
- George Bush thought social security was on an orange alert
- George Bush supports waterboarding and all other X-Game water sports
- George Bush, as a child, GOT left behind
- George Bush thought ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell’ was a new version of telephone tag
- George Bush tried to put the State of the Union address on his envelopes and checks
- George Bush thought stem cell research was a prison botany experiment

Go ahead and add your own factoid fun…

26 comments:

Anette said...

I do like your picture of the day!

VE said...

anette - Thanks. I thought it was too funny to pass up.

Marie said...

The George Bush ones are way better. I just don't get the Chuck Norris ones. I mean, he's a pansy!

iamnot said...

George Bush is so dumb he can get elected over infinitely smarter, nicer, more deserving people who wouldn't eat babies for breakfast and start wars for oil.
And he did it twice...what a dummy.

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

A year or so ago, Gary Trudeau did a Sunday strip with President Bush talking to his father about the Iraq War, and the last frame has a thought bubble from George Bush Senior thinking, "Another child left behind..."

Jacki said...

I take it you are not a fan of W?

Matt-Man said...

George Bush thought that the Supreme Court Justice was the Head referree of an NBA game.

He thought the FDA stood for "Fuck 'dem Assholes".

Cheers!!

Theresa said...
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Theresa said...

George Bush thought the Heimlich maneuver meant going out for some imported beer.

Jeff said...

George Bush thought he was qualified to be President!

Oh wait, that joke's on us.

Kurt said...

Why did George W Bush cross the road?

Because the chicken told him there were weapons of mass destruction on the other side.

Alan Smithee said...

Chuck Norris hasn't had a project in development for three years.

VE said...

marie - Chuck Norris knows where you live! Ok, Bruce Lee did kick his butt...

iamnot - That's pretty dumb of him!

suburban - I was afraid that might have been used...

jacki - W? Wonder Woman? Wild Wild West? Those, yes.

matt-man - Good ones. You can be my future writer.

theresa - It's not? Just kidding. Funny.

jeff - As usual, the people that did vote for him didn't get the joke though

kurt - Did you make that one up? Funny

alan - He doesn't have to...he's Chuck Norris!

Serena Joy said...

Everybody's got funny comments today!:)

George Bush thought the theory of relativity referred to incest, and that the big bang was rough sex.

RED MOJO said...

lol serena joy, But after learning about his family tree, I think George Bush knew incest was more than just a theory!

Alex L said...

Favourite Chuck Norris fact.

'Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter'

cathouse teri said...

I like what Serena Joy said! Too funny! And Alex ~ purrfect!

I'm not feeling altogether creative that way today, but I was thinking we could take one of the Norrisisms and make it work for George.

George Dubya doesn't wear a watch, he DECIDES what time it is!

VE said...

sj - Wow, those are great. You can join my writing staff. I don't actually pay but think of the recognition.

red mojo - Oh yeah!

alex l - I never noticed that about that word. Good one.

teri - Time we decide he go...

leelee said...

I'm just readin' and these are all great!!


HUGS!!

cathouse teri said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
cathouse teri said...

Sorry about the delete. I posted something stupid.

What I meant was:

Amen!


:)

RED MOJO said...

ve, there is an award for you over at my blog!

VE said...

leelee - Yes, it seems I don't need to post much, it's all in the comments!

Teri - That's ok; it's just comments!

red mojo - I just went to check it out. How nice of you; thank's. Of course, you know I don't put them on my actual blog, but that doesn't mean I won't mention you for it!

Alex L said...

I wish I could lay claim to that little Norris factoid, but no it just appeared on my facebook page one day and I had to leave it there.

ChristineEldin said...

These are all funny, in a sad way.

VE said...

alex l - Well, it's still a good one!

christine - Very sad...for all of us