Friday, April 04, 2008

Return to Oz - Part 2

Welcome to Part Two of our recap on the Return to Oz

- continued from part 1 –

The old forest is sadly gone too. When Emerald City ran out of Emeralds to build with, the upper class citizens demanded old growth wood to build their Oz-mansions with. With population increasing and jobs scarce, the entire forest was clear cut. They did leave a two tree border on both sides of the road to provide the illusion of a forest as you travel through though. That was thoughtful of them.


The poppy field was a continuous source of drug production but was ultimately replaced with bark chips and a swing set for the kiddies. Emerald City ATVs ruined most of the usable bark chip acreage; turning it to mud infested swamp by going there during the rainy season. They then filled that in with garbage from Emerald City. Now you have to go through that area very quickly or risk contamination exposure and what seems like going full circle, will cause your eyes to weep.

Back at Emerald City, things have changed drastically. They ran out of service money to staff a guard at the front gate. That is now a 5 digit access code given to all city dwellers (who then give it to everyone in Oz which makes the gate pretty much a running joke.)

Inside Emerald City, the barber was closed down years ago in favor of a trendy salon. Seems there was little need to stuff hay into local residents and other than I, nobody had asked for a tin buffing for almost 50 years. The scarecrow was retired and now lived up by the Oz golf course. He had long ago replaced hay with a lighter shipping popcorn material. Horses of a different color were eventually replaced with Oz like versions of the Segway. They were everywhere. There were jam ups in the streets and angry city dwellers clanging on bells with road rage in their eyes. I quickly headed to Oz headquarters.

Interestingly, as Oz never returned and the original trio of Scarecrow, Tin Man and Lion retired, the offices were mostly filled with middle management bureaucrats that had no real idea what they were doing but seemed to just keep moving along until retirement.

The actual room where Oz had created his scary head projection was still there; preserved as a tourist destination. Rumor had it there were many parodies of the display that existed through the city; some were quite ingenious.

Flying monkeys had been relegated to the endangered species list having had difficulty finding homes after the evil castle was sold to a coffee company and turned into a self-promoting theme park. A small group of them existed merely to fly off during one of the big simulation shows they held nightly.

Yes, sadly one should not revisit fantasy worlds as they inevitably fall victim to progress. As I was thinking about all the squabbling, land-stripping, and commercialism I thought to myself “There’s no place like home”. I switched slippers and tapped them three times. I was back. My car had been towed while I was gone. Yep, there is no place like home.

23 comments:

Kurt said...

"The government took my castle - anything will help"

Indeed!

Anette said...

Bet your home looked cosy and nice now, after that horror trip!
And what have we learned?
Some things schould be left alone. Never go back to places you left long ago, that you keep intact inside your head, unless you want to get rid of them for ever. There's no return!

By the way, did you notice that family of Emerald refugees who has moved in to your closet while you were gone?

Matt-Man said...

This was quite an ingenious story and idea. Well done Mr. Man. Cheers!!

VE said...

kurt - Yes, I thought about you with that statement

anette - It's true. We'll have to jump out of this dark and brooding for next week. I've got some zany stuff planned

matt-man - Thanks. Have a good weekend!

Serena Joy said...

Well, this is just sad. I know you can't stop progress, but who ever thought it would happen in the Emerald City? I think the Alliance of Wicked Witches is to blame for this.:)

RED MOJO said...

Knowing that fictional characters are as stupid as humans saddens me greatly.

VE said...

sj - Obviously Oz is due for a complete rewrite...

red mojo - Not all of them. The Tao of Scooby is still going strong!

Beth said...

Welcome back! It took courage, a great heart and an amazing brain to venture to Oz to report on such dire conditions.
(Too bad about those flying monkeys - and ditch those ruby slippers!)

leelee said...

after that I feel midly depressed.

I want to be 5 again and remember it like it was...

I'm putting in the dvd right now..I can't let this be my last vision of Oz. It's too sad.

reality sucks!!

VE said...

beth - The ruby slippers are out of here (except for a trip to the mall to shop...) nevermind...

leelee - It's ok, Batman started over anew; so can Oz. I've got some wacky stuff for Monday...and it won't be a downer. No reality in it at all!

Dale said...

That was ahem wicked VE, great job.

VE said...

dale - Thanks. Are you PUNishing me?

leelee said...

lol

heartinsanfrancisco said...

This is so very sad. It's really true, then. You can't go home again.

I've always wondered about those "slippers," too. They are foot grinders and cause munchkin-sized bunions and whole cornfields on ones toes. I think Dorothy was had by the shoe salesman.

Carla said...

Yep, no place like home. That's why I travel so much.

pork and shellfish said...

pork and shellfish enjoy your photos. Especially pork.

VE said...

heartinsf - That shoe salesman - Probably the reason Dorothy left in the first place

carla - Me too, me too

pork and shellfish - Welcome and thanks.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

Soooo, are you secretly one of The Brothers Grimm that got adopted out to a different family?

elasticwaistbandlady said...

I'm more than a bit concerned as to what a "monkey simulation show" entails.

VE said...

elastic - I don't have any brothers, but sometimes I'm grim

Also, the monkey simulation show has to involve spanking the monkey

Jacki said...

I second Matt-Man. Very entertaining story and idea. When will we see this on Broadway?

Bunk said...

Yay-- Moog!

"Switched On Bach" was the first one to be filed in the "City of the Lame" department. But Tomita's version of Mussorgsky's "Pictures At An Exhibition" was pretty good.

Then Walter became Wendy, and the whole thing kinda lost steam... We were left with ABBA...

VE said...

jacki - That would be...like work...

bunk - You commented on the wrong post! That's a violation of $50! You can owe me.

I love Tomita's Pictures at an Exhibition. My dad had that and he had a true quadraphonic sound system so the music ran around the room; it was very cool.