Friday, April 11, 2008

There Must be 50 Ways to Park Two Cars

“The problem is all inside your head”, she said to me
The answer is easy if you take it logically
I’d like to help you in your struggle to be free
There must be fifty ways to park two cars

She said it’s really not my habit to intrude
Futhermore, I hope my methods are essential you must conclude
But I’ll repeat myself, at the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways to park two cars
Fifty ways to park two cars

You just put ‘em in side by side, Clyde
Stack ‘em on top, Pop
Just drive on over the junk, Bunk
And get yourself free
Go through the dry wall, Paul
It’s not really that tall
Just climb out the back, Jack
And get yourself free

She said it grieves me so to see you in such pain
I wish there was something I could do to make you smile again
I said I appreciate that and would you please explain
About the fifty ways

She said why don’t we get a crow bar in the mourn
Use these headphones to block out the noise from the horn
Then we proceeded inside to watch some porn
There must be fifty ways to park two cars.
Fifty ways to park two cars


elasticwaistbandlady said...

Shame on whoever snapped those vehicles in a compromising position like that!

So, truck convertibles are the results that comes from crossing an F-150 and a Corvette?

RED MOJO said...

That seems like an odd way to park them. I think I'd have parked the vet on top of the pick up!

lime said...

i won't be dropping off my (car) key to lee any time soon if that's how he parks cars.

cathouse teri said...

You're so cute. :)

damon said...

...and there's fifty ways to torture the idiot who parked his Ferrari under my truck.

Are you in good hands?

Unknown said...

No Banana Splits today?

I always loved that song and you have given it a great new spin (pun intended). Tra-la-la =D

Ed said...

elasticwaistbandlady - Hah! It's true...the auto industry doesn't like to talk about it...

red mojo - The pick up prefers to be on top ;)

lime - I'm with you on that.

Teri - Less so in my crumpled Corvette though

damon - If that was my Corvette, somebody's face would be in my hands (fists)

kan - The splits have left the building (thank goodness!)

leelee said...

angry wife:

"Here's what I think of your midlife THIS baby!!"

Ed said...

leelee - Funny. It's like that War of the Roses movie.

Nessa said...

I bet after the porn you no longer care about the cars.

NYD said...

OK, I know I'm late for the party, but did anyone notice that the black chick in the previous post was gettin down and dancin with a white man's overbite.

Paul Simon makes for some lousy driving music.

Brad said...

This wouldn't have happened in a Miata.

Jeff and Charli Lee said...

Yikes! How did this ever happen?

The song I mean... not the picture.

United Studies said...

From a purely mathematical standpoint:

n × (n − 1) with n = 2 (2 cars)

2 x (2 - 1) == 2 x 1 == 2

So mathematically there are only two ways to arrange the cars. But creatively there are infinite ways. As illustrated here.

Ed said...

nessa - Good point. Porn has a way of distracting everything else

nyd - I hadn't thought of it that way. That's funny. A couple people pointed out the expression. Somebody even suggested that she had been sitting on William Shatner's prop tripod...

brad - You're right. You wouldn't even see the Miata after the pickup drove over it!

jeff - Hey, I'm not the songwriter, I'm just the parody guy. Don't shoot the parody guy!

jacki - I love it when you talk mathematics to me! ha ha

Beth said...

50 ways to park two cars? Or someone was seriously ticked off at someone else?

Kurt said...

That happened to me once, only it wasn't cars.

Ed said...

beth - I can't imagine somebody driving a big pick up ever having a bad temper. They're all such easy going peace loving people...

kurt - Are you saying you got run over the top of? You'll have to share...

Serena said...

I'd guess somebody's bound for the Dr. Phil show, and then on to Judge Judy.:)

Unknown said...

LOL! Don't let my husband see this post! He claims that I don't know how to park!!! He's right.

Ed said...

sj - That's a good observation. Perhaps Anger Management classes would help too

c - Just tell him it was a freak wind that did it...

Chris Eldin said...

That's an angry luvva.
Can you tell who's on top? The wife.
heh heh

Anonymous said...

Damn you! Now I will have that song stuck in my head all night! Hang on, on second thoughts it is a good thing. Boo has been playing Mika's 'Big Girls' all day and I am close to perforating my own eardrum.

Thanks VE for saving my sanity. Betcha you don't hear that every day.

sparringK9 said...


Ed said...

christine - Yeah, hard to tell who is on top...probably the anrgry one!

kelley - Something I thought I'd NEVER hear! Ha ha

she - Exactly!

Anonymous said...

I guess there was some contention over whose turn it was to park in the garage.

Ed said...

quilly - Well if she hadn't parked the damn vet in the middle of the garage!!! Ha ha ha