Wednesday, April 09, 2008

VE as Himself

I was looking up somebody on IMDB because, well, I always do. Half the time I recognize somebody in one movie and then cannot remember what they else they were in. It drives me crazy and I have to look them up to put an end to the madness.

So I was looking somebody up, and I caught this from their list of accomplishments (you'll probably have to click on the photo to really see):

See something familiar? He starred as himself on all these things! Now how flipping hard can it be to sign up for a movie or a TV show and star as yourself? It’s easy. I do it every day. Why don’t they pay me?

Can’t you see it now? It goes just like a Monty Python skit or something:

Director: “Are you here to audition for a role?”

VE: “Yes, I’ll be playing myself.”

Director: “Playing yourself? I’m afraid you aren’t in the script.”

VE: “But I always play myself. You’ll have to rewrite it.”

Director: “Rewrite it? Are you mad? Its fine the way it is.”

VE: “No it’s not. I’m not in it. If it were fine, then I’d be in it.”

Director: “But it’s about natives in Nairobi. You don’t have the right ethnicity.”

VE: “I can get a tan before filming.”

Director: “No, this is a film about starvation and despair.”

VE: “Ok….I’ll skip breakfast and perhaps lunch before filming.”

Director: “Let me talk to the script writer….”

Yeah, right. But somehow, if you’re famous enough, you just get to play yourself on show and after show. I just need to find a way to get to that stage without all that middle part where you have to work and be talented…

33 comments:

RED MOJO said...

I'm perfectly happy to have you playing yourself, but you try to cut down playing with yourself! :)

RED MOJO said...

Sorry, the opportunity was there, I had to take it!

lime said...

hey if you figure it out let me know, ok?

VE said...

red mojo - Hah, good one. I set myself up for that!

lime - Yeah, why not, I'll already be rich and famous by then anyway...as myself.

Jacki said...

There are many days I wake up wanting to be someone else.

Jacki said...

And somewhere else.

VE said...

jacki - We'll switch your name around then. You can be ijack...the latest offering from Apple in their new ipeople line.

iamnot said...

I play myself every day...the pay is miserable.

VE said...

iamnot - You should demand a payraise!

Nessa said...

...no, Uranus.

I can't get paid to be me either.

Serena Joy said...

What with one box office flop after another, I've never had much success playing myself. Next time, I'm going to less Jessica Alba play me and see if I get paid more.:)

Michelle Ann said...

That's hilarious! This explains the enigma of Paris Hilton

Bee said...

I ran over here (not so much ran as clicked hurriedly) so I could ask if you forgot the word with but I see Red Mojo beat me to it.

Oh well, maybe next time.

Bee said...

I guess playing yourself is much better than playing, "Third man on the left".

VE said...

nessa - Maybe you can get some me unemployment compensation

sj - Yes, but they were all critically acclaimed!

michelle - Welcome. You're right...and I hate it; why should she get rich when I can be totally useless too...

bee - Copy cat! Yeah, you and the entire blog world were trying to hit me with that one. How did I not see that coming?!

Theresa said...

I play myself all the time, even on my blog. Maybe I should try playing somebody else for a change. You do realize that now there will be a bunch of people arriving to this blog after looking up "playing with yourself". Of course that's always better than animal sex. ;)

VE said...

theresa - Crap, I didn't think of that either! Oh, and thanks for adding animal sex to my blog too...that'll really spike the ol' hit count

cathouse teri said...

So I had to go to imdb and see who the hell you were looking up. I chose "Intimate Portrait" to query. There were too many Himselfs for me to find out what you were up to.

Kanrei said...

Yea! I play with myself all the time too....wait. I think I misunderstood this post.

VE said...

Teri - Nice try though...VE covers his trail well. But I was right, huh, tons of them starring as themselves

kan - and thanks for sharing that...

Beth said...

Well, you're talented...so, if you manage to figure out how to get to "that stage" while avoiding the work/middle part, I'd pay to see you.
Tell the producers you already have a fan base!

VE said...

Beth - I'll give that a shot. I'll tell the producer "Well Beth said I should be in this..."

Kurt said...

I am way too late to make the playing with himself joke, aren't I?

VE said...

kurt - You're gonna have to get up earlier in the morning to be first for that. But thanks for the abuse anyway.

Sornie said...

Well, dammit, who is this person who is so ultra-talented that they can only act as themself?!?

VE said...

sornie - It doesn't matter...but if you must know, I was looking at Mickey Rooney.

ChristineEldin said...

LOL! I never noticed that in the credits before. Now I'll have to look.
:-)

Alex L said...

I heard Geraldo Rivera was a composite of different people... part Oprah, part Ted kopple, part batman and then the rest was just some lint and a whole bunch of copper pipe they found.

Kelley said...

DANG!!! I was all ready to go on and on about you playing with yourself with evidence, diagrams and testimonials from your mother... these bastards beat me to it. *snigger* I said 'beat'.

Yeah, I am going to go drink my medication now...

VE said...

christine - Yeah, I hadn't started out to find a post, I just noticed it and thought it funny

alex l - That's funny. I remember those rumors. He should be careful, copper pipe tends to split

kelley - You are bad. I hate it when you get testimonials from my mother. I guess its better than getting testicals though

Knight said...

I guess at some point if you are famous and elderly enough people will hire you to be your obnoxious self because you can't really act anymore.

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

Yet another fine idea...I'd like to do that, too. I rehearse all the time.

VE said...

knight - Welcome. That's pretty true isn't it? That's why they give those lifetime achievement awards too.

suburban - And you're ready to get paid for it too, aren't you?