Monday, May 19, 2008

Celebration of Actors not in The Big Chill

Secretly every year several actors get together and celebrate the fact that they were written out of the script of a successful Hollywood movie…

Crazy you say? How could anyone want to celebrate that? Well, it’s the Secret Celebration of Actors Not Kept (SCANK). Every year they meet and celebrate their good fortune and how it was almost ruined by a single film.

Before we get to the members, let’s look at those unfortunates that stayed in the movie:

Tom Berenger. Sure, he was a major player in Platoon but then Sniper 1, 2, and 3? Come on, that’s like doing Rambo 1,2,3,4… but without the initially decent First Blood movie to begin with. Talk about milking a bad cow…



Glenn Close. Yeah, she freaked us all out in Fatal Attraction but she’s been relinquished to the small screen. Movies like Strip Search and the Stepford Wives remake disaster haven’t helped.




Jeff Goldblum. I like Jeff. I even like some of his films. But let’s just say playing the voice of Robbie the Reindeer in Legend of the Lost Tribe for TV pretty much says that if “Dancing with the Stars” calls…take the call; you’ll need the work!



Jo Beth Williams. I think she got trapped in the 80s decade and didn’t have the proper VISA to move on. She’s still there waiting for a Deloreon to show up and whisk her away from her prison.



I could go on. I would say only Kevin Kline and perhaps William Hurt were slippery enough to escape the death career clutches this movie has on the former cast. I think William escaped injured though because he disappeared for a long time before reemerging in a few decent things.

So who’s in the SCANK club? Take a look…

Edward Norton. That’s right. Though only 12 he was cast as another of Jo Beth’s children in the film. He played a pre-teen boy obsessed with magic and known to get green when angered. He was cut from the show because the first rule of Film editors club is you don’t talk about Film editors club…


Robert Redford. Hard to believe, huh? He played another of the gang but the illusion of him looking young was waning even then. Yes, he had (and still does) the great youthful hair but pass as a 30 something suburbanite? It just didn’t work and he was cut.


John Travolta. First, he was one of the main cast but the other members found him a bit too cool and that made them feel inferior on the set. Second, there was no place to park his commercial airplane so he missed a lot of takes. Finally, he danced too well and again made the other actors feel inferior.



Brad Pitt. Though only 20 and unknown at the time, Brad was cast as a pizza guy that delivered to the house. Fortunately for him the movie company couldn’t get product placement figured out with the pizza chains and the scene was deleted.




Cameron Diaz. Though only 9 at the time she played the illegitimate love child of Jeff Goldblum’s character. Pretty much everyone thought that was just too creepy of a plot item and they deleted it.

34 comments:

Jacki said...

Maybe I am showing my age (??) but I had to look this movie up. I had never heard of it.

GC said...

yeah
never seen "The Big Chill"
maybe you should do a review

Memarie Lane said...

I've never see The Big Chill, simply because I was too sheltered. Never saw any James Bond until I was 22.

Memarie Lane said...

Just realized I may have given the impression that I thought The Big Chill is a 007 movie. I don't, just giving an example of my shelteredness. Wasn't allowed to watch Three's Company either.

VE said...

jacki - Ah, but you are not a movie person, right? I mean, I wasn't alive for a lot of Hitchcock movies like Rear Window, Vertigo, The Birds, etc. but I've still seen them. Now you can't give me the "age" thing; I'm sure you've seen Wizard of Oz; but probably not in the theater in 1939!

gc - You are fortunate. It's one of those 80s middle aged self-important movies

memarie - You lived in a shelter??? Wow, you and I were opposite; I got to see The Exorcist when I was 13...

Kanrei said...

I have heard of it, but I have never ever seen it at all. It was a parent movie at the time. That, and I don't like sad movies.

I just saw "An American Crime" this weekend for example and I cried for about an hour after it was over and I am a guy! Guys don't cry at movies.

leelee said...

O
M
G

I am feeling OLD..not only is The Big Chill one of my favorite movies..I have the soundtrack and can honestly relate to all the characters.

shit

oh well

leelee said...

VE: from my blog...you listed Richard Thompson...I hit up the net and found him...I am impressed my friend...he is of Fairport Convention fame. very cool! I just re-discovered FC..never knew much about them as they were a bit before my time..I was only 11 in 1969..but I was cool even then. I WAS..I SWEAR!

VE said...

kan - OMG...where have you been? I thought maybe your patio sunk and you dug your way over to Cuba to escape! Oh, and real men can cry...just bring a little onion in a zip lock bag and it'll do the trick every time!

leelee - Sorry...I inevitably know that sooner or later I'm going to rip on somebody's favorite something when I post.

VE said...

leelee - This is what I find really interesting is that so many younger people seem to have very little knowledge of what came before "their time". Ridiculous notion to me. I didn't grow up with 50s music but I know a lot about it even still. I know a lot about classic movies too. Yes, I saw Richard Thompson last year and he played 52 Vincent on stage. It's a cheezy ballad but the guitar playing is just so awesome; I used to think it was two guitars but its just him. I grew up on folk music so I'm pretty up on all of what went on through the 60s and 70s there. I once watched Joan Baez kick ass over Heart's Wilson (was it Nancy or Ann that sang) in a singing duel at a folk concert...

leelee said...

no no..you didn't rip on it. I enjoyed the post. I was just reacting to the fact that a number of your faithful had never seen nor heard of the movie..THAT made me feel old..I keep forgetting that I am NOT the younger generation any longer. when did THAT happen?? lol

You grew up on folk music... now THAT'S interesting. There are many facets to you my fantastical friend.

Kanrei said...

Sorry VE. I missed three days of work last week due to illness and was not very "bloggy" the other two days. Never fear, even from Cuba I would find you! You and SJ are my only readers left so how could I ever leave you? =D

VE said...

leelee - We're not old; we're vintage! Ha ha

kan - Changes are inevitable out here in the blog world but I'd have hated to see you go; after iamnot you are my longest reader (that comments).

leelee said...

Like a fine wine?? Better with age!

VE said...

leelee - You got it!

Serena Joy said...

Oh Lord and holy crappola, my age is taking the podium and giving me away now. I know TBC. I've seen it. More than once. I should say that I'm also familiar with 'Birth of a Nation' and 'Blood and Sand.' I've even seen them once or twice, but I was NOT BORN when they were made. So maybe I'm not as old as that idiot on the podium says.:)

Beth said...

All true? Can't always tell when you might be pulling my (our) leg.
But this post reminds me that the guy who died was also a famous actor and his part (a flashback?) was also cut. Who the hell was he? YOU should know.

(btw - you totally confused me with the comment you left today - you left it on an older post - made no sense - celebrate acupuncture??!!)

VE said...

sj - Here here. Stand and be recognized! (and then sit down before you slip and break a hip!)

Michele said...

Oh, I must be old....nothing unfamiliar to me.
As soon as I read Tom Berenger's name I had a flashback of the movie "Someone to Watch Over Me".
Familiar with that one?

Bee said...

I took Glenn Closes character in Fatal Attraction and perfected. You can say she was the pioneer for the rest of us ladies too shy to show men how we feel about them.

Who is Brad Pitt?

(Just kidding! I know who he is. He is the one I will stalk until he loves me!)

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

I sort of liked the 80's....so maybe I'm stuck there, too...

Did someone up there just say they had never seen The Big Chill? I didn't know you were letting the younger set read this blog.

Serena Joy said...

LOL. I never stand when I can sit, so my hips are in great shape.:D

For Michelle: I, too, fondly remember 'Someone to Watch Over Me.' I've lusted after Tom Berenger ever since.:)

VE said...

beth - I'll have to check on what I commented. Most of them don't make sense so that doesn't surprise me. Oh, the actor your referring to was Kevin Costner! Yes, he's in the club too.

michele - Oh yes, I remember that movie. How about the one where he played a writer/creep in the movie with Sharon Stone...Sliver (or was is Silver)?

bee - Yes, it's that soft underbelly you show with your comments that endears us to you! ha ha

suburban - I make 'em sign waivers though

sj - Excellent...you can always get one of my weeble wobble bubbles down the road too!

colbymarshall said...

another one who didnt get voted out in time...and I hate to say it...Al Pacino. His most recent movie- 88 Minutes-- yeah, complete distaster.

HeyJoe said...

While I did see this movie back in the day (early college?) I only saw it once that I can recall (see at this time VCR's, while gaining in popularity) were still somewhat unique. Yes, VCR as in Video.

In any event I thought it was lame, with all those tools dancing around in the kitchen. But the wife convincing her husband to offer a pity fuck? Thumbs up to that open broad.

And thanks to whomever stole my little trivia nugget about Kevin Costner's role as the corpse. Probably his LEAST wooden performance ever.

The defense rests.

VE said...

colby - I read an article about the aging stars right now and how some are just milking it. Guess Pacino is one of the milkers...

heyjoe - Nice try...that was me that gave away the Kevin Costner trivia bit. He does play a good dead guy that has been cut from the film. I can't believe you were around when VCRs came out; man you are old! ha ha

Yes, my name is Arizona said...

I saw the Exorcist when I was a teenager, too, and it scarred me for life. Just thinking about it gives me the heebie jeebies.

The Big Chill...I remember that movie. There are a few other movies that have ruined careers....like Star Wars. Only Harrison Ford survived that one with his career intact.

Megan said...

I love this film, but that's because my parents thought they were real hippies. (Whoops, yippies, that is.)

Preposterous Ponderings said...

I won't even say how old I was when the Big Chill came out.

Damn I am an old bitch.....

Maureen said...

Oh, yeah, I am old enough to remember The Big Chill.... damn you youngsters for making me feel old!

I love Jeff Goldblum; he married a woman from Winnipeg, you know. He's been here a few times - I would love to run into him.

Loved him in The Fly and of course Jurassic Park.

VE said...

arizona - You're right...many a career was ruined over at Star Wars. I mean Mark Hamill did Corvette Summer!!!

megan - Yippies...gotta love it...

preposterous - Damn you're old! There, I said it with you so you wouldn't be alone. Ha ha

maureen - Yeah I was on the fence in picking on Jeff there. I think it was the voice role that threw him on the wrong side.

Yes, my name is Arizona said...

Ha! I actually liked Corvette Summer!!

VE said...

arizona - Shhhh...don't tell anyone but I have that movie on VHS. I have this secret car chase movie collection that not only includes that, it includes Eat My Dust, Gone in 60 Seconds (the original!), Gumball Rally, Two Lane Blacktop, Dirty Mary-Crazy Larry, Vanishing Point and I think there was one other Ron Howard one but can't recall off the top of my head.

Kurt said...

I left a great comment here. Where is it?