Wednesday, May 07, 2008

I've Been Wondering

With all the damn Skywalkers in all those Star Wars movies…did you ever see ONE of them actually walk in the sky? I’m still waiting…

What exactly is mini about a mini van? I mean, come on, they seat about 22 and have more transformations than those things in that Transformer movie. I actually drove one for awhile and got tired of senior citizens thinking I was the public transportation bus.

I have a friend with a really big condo. I call it his “Maxi Pad”. He hates that…

Ever notice how they chart which is the bigger killer: cancer or heart disease? I think death is the biggest killer. Ask your doctor if non-death is right for you…

Why are they all Mini-Coopers? Isn’t there a full sized Cooper available? They must have just specialized in mini autos. Can’t I super-size?

Why do they call it the Space Needle? It’s never been in space. Why do they need a needle in space anyway? I don’t see them doing a lot of sewing on those high tech space suits…

You know if they built a bridge from Alaska to Siberia, from Indonesia to New Guinea and then from New Guinea to Australia I’d be able to drive to Australia. If I drive straight through I figure it would take only a couple of weeks and cost thousands of dollars but think of all the cool highway stops I could make. Is Borst a fast food?

Why didn’t they ever make Gumby gum? That would have been awesome. Each green stick looks just like Gumby…well, until you chew him up into a grizzly looking wad that is…

29 comments:

Marie said...

And then there's the Smart Car...

lime said...

and why are min vans and mini coopers so disparate in size?

Mrs. R said...

I don't have anything witty to add, I just wanted to let you know that was hysterical. Thanks for the laugh.

Bee said...

Why am I reading this and hearing Seinfeld's voice in my head?

colbymarshall said...

"Ever notice how they chart which is the bigger killer: cancer or heart disease? I think death is the biggest killer. Ask your doctor if non-death is right for you…"

ROFLMAO! I absolutely love it!

leelee said...

yeah...what bee said...

Gumby gum...man, I just like saying that. They could actually have Pokey and Goo represented as well (big gumby fan here)

leelee said...

oh and new Name That Tune today..come on over!

VE said...

marie - Good one. Anyone that spends 27K on a car that should cost 10K isn't exactly smart...

lime - Good correlation. I have no idea why. Probably some designer making the vans and compensating for something by calling them mini but making them huge.

mrs. r - No need to be witty; I appreciate the comments no matter what they are.

bee - Newman!!....

colbymarshall - Can't you see the commercials now?

VE said...

leelee - Poor pokey, he's always overlooked. I'll check out the fun at your place in a second...

cathouse teri said...

Well as far as death goes, we can just ponder what Woody Allen says:

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.

Bunk said...

Whatever you do folks, never buy a Multi-Car. They're almost uninsurable, what with the daily accidents and all.

Also, I heard that there's a woman raped every 30 minutes. Where can I find her picture? I mean, she's just gotta be knockout gorgeous.

[Sorry for that last one. It just kinda spilled out.]

Kurt said...

Looks like I have to follow the terrible rape joke. Well, that's the price we pay for freedom of speech.

GC said...

and a very dear price indeed Kurt

but back to the cooper
thanks for the mention--now I've read up on Cooper Car Company history thanks to you

VE said...

teri - Those are words to live by...literally

bunk - I'm thinking my blog readers will have something to say about that joke...nevermind; they already are. Good luck to you now my friend...

kurt - Is that where you had to spend all your stimulas package?

gc - Oh sure. Keep it all to yourself then...

Serena Joy said...

I can see you're on a most excellent thinking jag today. I don't get that whole mini van thing, either. They look huge to me. If those are minis, what do regular vans look like?

I have never seen a sky walker, and I'd like to try the Gumby gum.:)

VE said...

sj - The regular vans must be what the Shell oil executives drive; who else can afford to?

G-Man said...

And whats the deal with Ovaltine?.....
Great Job VE!!
You are the coolest think-stuff-upper in blogdom!!...G

VE said...

g-man - Cool, I love winning obscure blog category contests. Thanks G-Man!

justacoolcat said...

Great, now I have another night of reasearch in front of me.

Do you have any idea how hard it is typing in this gumby costume?

Kelley said...

I love it when you do a brain dump.

And dude, I know you are totally thinking of me. I am in your THOUGHTS. Cause why else would you be thinking about driving to Australia but to come and worship me and clean my car? I mean there is nothing else here...

Yes, my name is Arizona said...

Oh, I'd love to be able to drive to Australia! I'd have to stock up on Preparation H for the long drive, though....

Alex L said...

Well I'd quite look forward to turning gumby into a wet green gnarled blob... I hate that green prick.

VE said...

justacoolcat - A gumby costume? Awesome. I'm gonna find one and wear it every single day.

kelley - Well it is in my five year plan to be able to clean your car...

arizona - Don't forget the astronaut diapers.

alex l - It's fun when the eyes bulge out in the process...

Maureen said...

Har!

But know I shall be the Uber-Geek and tell you it wasn't always Skywalker... It was Starkiller.

So I can see why GL changed it.

You're welcome.

Uber-Geek out.

Bonnie said...

Thanks for the great post you just made my today!
My snide comment for the day is good luck to you Bunk! May the force be with you! You may need it and a good sidekick after that comment!

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

I was so freakin happy when I gave birth to mini-Infidel 6. Why? Well, for all the usual gushy mommy reasons but also because:
A)When it comes to tax deductions and child credits, the more the merrier.
B) She used up the last available spot in our SUV which meant I no longer got called from parents to tote their kids around to activities with us. SCORE!

RED MOJO said...

What would gumby gum taste like? Some clay guy's ass?

Sans Pantaloons said...

You have a good mind. I love Kelley's idea of a brain dump! I would suggest that life, not death is the biggest killer.
OptoBlogger or PessiBlogger? I Blog therefore I comment. I comment therefore I Blog. WE are a unity in mind.

VE said...

maureen - I should know not to venture into the Star Wars arena with you watching. Thanks for that bit of trivia!

Bonnie - Yeah...I'm just gonna watch the bunk slaughter

elastic - That last point was key! Always maximize the seating...ha ha

red mojo - Watermelon I would guess

sans pantaloons - Reading a kelley mind dump is very amusing too! Just don't mess with her...she'll come after you!