Thursday, May 15, 2008

Predictions on What Will be Back in Style

They’re Coming Back in Style

Yes, VE is going to go out on a limb and give you his predictions on the future rages of popularity among our ever influential populace.

Dunce Caps

That’s right. In the future everyone will be wearing them. It’s been building for years. The Coneheads project was just an early pilot. They’re already used to celebrate at birthday parties.


Soon everyone from Presidents to school gangs will be wearing them. Special stripes, graphics, shapes and colors will take on new secret meanings. Sure, it seems a far fetched idea to advance from idiots and Shriners to public acceptance but if Chia Pets and Pet Rocks can do it; so can Dunce Caps

The Whig Party

Everyone knows we need a third party out there to bitch about. What better party is there to create a political love triangle than the Whig party? No other non-existent or floundering party has actually put somebody into the Oval office. The Whig’s have done it twice!

Plus, the wig inference is quite catchy. They’ll use celebrities like Elton John, Burt Reynolds, Britney Spears as their spoke persons. They’ll seem credible since they all have their own wigs. And as sure as Jerry Lewis’s hair will remain tar black until the day he dies so will success in the Whig party be. They’ll obviously have to redesign their former slave policy but who in the political arena these days doesn’t have to double talk their way out of some embarrassing and highly contentious topic? Their big theme: DIG A WHIG!

Smoke Signals

No more dead zones with your cell phone. No more monthly fees for a bunch of fiber running underground. No more rate fees because some whale ate the cabling at the bottom of the ocean. Forget about all this technology and gadgetry. When the aliens come down and use their superior technology to render our gadgets useless (refer to ALL science fiction movies for reference) smoke signaling will be the communication of choice.

That’s right, you’ll be able to send your own smoke signals to your friends. A special smoke puff “texting” language will be adopted. Look for the all digital smoke signals in the future – the smoke between the smoke…

27 comments:

lime said...

i'm thinking if gas prices keep going up the horse and buggy may come back.

MJ said...

Dang! I was hoping that a rebirth in the popularity of skating parties would make the list.

There goes my idea for my 25th birthday party...

VE said...

lime - Good point! I'm gonna get my pooper scooper license and clean up (figuratively)

mj - As long as they use that great organ music...

colbymarshall said...

Dunce caps...I know a LOT of people who could use one of those.

VE said...

colby - And they'll think it is fashion and you can secretly laugh at them!

Memarie Lane said...

Oy, and here I'd bought all these homing pigeons thinking they'd be the next big thing.

VE said...

marie - Homing pidgeons are good...until they poop all over your gas guzzling Ferrari that is...

Carla said...

Dunce caps are so stylish...almost makes one look like a wizard...but of course that would make them feel smart.

VE said...

carla - And they're aerodynamic too!

justacoolcat said...

I predicted Zubaz would be makeing a comeback, and here it is.

Next up: Parachute Pants

Sornie said...

I'm hoping for dunce caps to make a comeback but we'd have to rethink the automobile industry and revamp vehicles to have higher rooklines. I know this because my homemade pirate hat didn't fit well inside my car while on my head.

Jacki said...

LOL at Jesse Jackson. And I agree with colbymarshall....I know a few people that could use a dunce cap.

damon said...

I say, bring back the mullet!
17 Billy Ray fans can't be wrong!

That, and Big-Wheels for the kids.

Yeah that's right, kids riding big-wheels, sporting the mullet and wearing dunce caps. That's the future.

VE said...

sornie - Cool, special bubble tops in the car designs to support taller hats. I like it.

jacki - I thought he looked more distinguished in it. Still irrelevant in politics, but distinguished.

damon - Now Damon...some things, like the Dinosaurs, have had their time and we should never go back. I'm going to have to call you on mullets...it's wrong...in the same way that standing near a nuclear test to see what happens is. But Big Wheels, I think you got something there. We should build some adult big wheels too!

sprinkle4 said...

Finally! A partial solution to my oddly misshapen head! And a container in which to hold my Pet Rocks! I just love multi-tasking:)

RED MOJO said...

I had a dunce cap once, but I kept putting it on backwards, and it affected my balance, I kept spilling my martinis, so I quit wearing it!

VE said...

sprinkle4 - Hey...the Cat in the Hat had many things under his hat so why not store the pet rocks there.

red mojo - Martini management is more important. Glad you had your priorities in order!

Serena Joy said...

I never thought about it before but now that I've seen pictures, I kind of wouldn't mind wearing a dunce cap. They're colorful, sparkly, and have a nice symmetry. And if anybody asked me why I was wearing a dunce cap, I could stick them with the pointy end.:)

leelee said...

I think the whig with a dunce cap might be the order of the day!

I love your photoshop abilities!

The Intracerebral Itinerary said...

YES! Bring back the Whigs! Old Abe Lincoln would finally rest easy... well, except for the whole habeas corpus legacy thing...

VE said...

sj - Good point...literally.

leelee - Yes, elegant but trendy too!

intracerebral itinerary - Whigs rule!

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

I think I can broker a deal with a Chinese sweat shop to mass produce your line of VE DUNCE CAPS that say Made In The U.S.A. on the side.

VE said...

elastic - Awesome. Can you make them work an extra 10 hours to lower the cost?

Maureen said...

Sorry, but the Made In the USA dunce caps will only be available for sale in Canada... you'all in States will have to buy the Chinese made ones.

;)

VE said...

maureen - You seem to have a keen overview of global economics!

Yes, my name is Arizona said...

I dig the wigs. I wouldn't have to wash my hair so often...

Kurt said...

Dunce caps have never really gone out of style.