Monday, June 23, 2008

Mind Dump

Hey everyone. Yes, I'm back. A lovely 24 hour delay getting back too. I'll have posts and photos forthcoming. I'll have some particular things to say about airline travel...again...because what's not to make fun of there?

Meanwhile, I'll leave you with a mind dump that has been building up and do some blog catching up! Enjoy...

Why are Tombstone frozen pizzas round? Shouldn’t they be shaped like a tombstone? Shouldn’t they be packaged in a dirt plot? Shouldn’t they have the cooking directions right on the tombstone – Rest in Peace (or Oven…12 minutes)?


Ever wonder what happened to the pilot M&M candies? You know the L&Ls, the K&Ks, the D&Ds. I’m sure there is a cable program out there that will tell me. They’ve probably already done one and it also features a science-for-dummies explanation of why they melt in your mouth but not on your hands. I don’t believe that crap. Have you ever held a bunch of M&Ms in your hot sweaty hands? They look like you’re auditioning as a circus clown! Colors and chocolate smeared all over…what a load of hooey!

Balance is important. Without it you’re gonna need my weeble wobble product or you too will break a hip along with the old people. But balance must exist elsewhere too…and it doesn’t. The classic case in point is the ever funny joke about hot dogs and buns not having the same amount in each package. But when was the last time you had your shampoo and your conditioner run out at the same time? I mean come on, you ALWAYS run out of conditioner first. And don’t even be telling me you use some nasty all-in-one product like Pert. “Na na na na na na” (that’s me with my hands over my ears because I don’t even want to hear that).

I’m not impressed with Miracle Whip. I mean talk about lowering the bar. This really isn’t up to par with God’s earlier Old Testament miracles. If he’s not really going to keep up his quality in his work, why should I? Well, ok, that is if I actually worked that is.

What do June bugs do the other 11 months of the year?


I went to get my Dad a Father's Day card and it was just full of crap that didn't apply to him. Talk about a bunch of lame card creators. I guess EVERY dad golfs, falls asleep, curses when they repair something, drinks beer, and wears socks with their sandals (black ones at that). I finally just said screw it and gave him a present that wasn't wrapped and then told him all the cards suck. He agreed and it didn't matter in the least. That's Dad!

29 comments:

Memarie Lane said...

We go through shampoo way faster. My husband doesn't use conditioner at all. And I have long hair, so I use more shampoo. Also I only apply conditioner to the ends or my hair gets all oily, so I don't use that much. So more me the sizes would have to be the other way around.

I can't believe I just spent about twenty seconds of my life typing that out.

VE said...

marie - 20 seconds? I'm so sorry...you should go condition your hair now.

Anndi said...

I'd leave a comment but I have to go wash my hair now. (Glad you're back BTW)

VE said...

anndi - Clean hair is a priority you know. Well, for me actually having my hair is a priority...whew on that one!

Anndi said...

Would your upcoming comments on air travel be at all reminiscent of the late George Carlin (I hate writing that...)

Nessa said...

Now I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight. Why, why, why, do people have to ask questions? Ignorance is bliss.

Jacki said...

Oh man, do not get me started on the airline industry!! Every time I open the newspaper, there is an article about them adding fees for something....I figure it is going to end with us having to bring our own lawn chairs if we actually want a seat on the plane. Else, they will charge a ridiculous fee to actually have a seat.

Maureen said...

Welcome back! Ah, yes. Airline travel. A joke in itself.

I don't think I'd ever want a Tombstone Pizza... just doesn't sound appetizing to me... yikes.

And I rarely use conditioner either; I shampoo and go. To my daughter's disgust (my water bill will attest to the fact that she conditions, and conditions...)

Serena Joy said...

I tried to comment earlier and got that stupid "Sorry, Blogger is unavailable right now" message. Grrrr. Anyway, I'm glad you're back -- and that your edge is intact. Can't wait to hear all about your air travel experiences.

Conditioner. There's a little conumdrum. Use too little and you have a nasty tangle of snarls; use too much and you have a flat, greasy mess. There ought to be a better way.:)

Matt-Man said...

Welcome Back, VE!! Shampoo? I never use it...well, anymore. There's really no need. Cheers!!

leelee said...

YAY...VE IS BACK!!

welcome back...I had to say that even before I finished reading your post..

leelee said...

ok...AND your post was great...yay!

Kurt said...

I do custom cards on commission.

VE said...

nessa - I have to agree with you on that point...ignorance is bliss

jacki - I wish I could bring a lawn chair...it might be more comfortable

maureen - No, you are not missing anything with Tombstone. I'd write more too but I should go condition ;)

sj - Yes, my edge is there! And I've been getting a bunch of blogger errors all night.

matt-man - And that saves the $$$ too! That way you can throw them away on overpriced gas!

leelee - Yes, I'm back and ready to get rolling! Pictures and stories in due time

VE said...

kurt - That's a good idea...cause they were all crappo! But that would mean being proactive and that requires planning and planning requires initiative and that all sounds like a lot of work and you know how I avoid work...

Megan said...

My dad doesn't do any of those things either. Yay dad!

(Kurt, I will be emailing you the specifics.)

Welcome back, VE!

Alex L said...

Wow god really has lowered his standards hasnt he, I never thought a miracle would ever come in a jar. But it stands to reason that 'Kraft' would be the ones to do it.

Beth said...

I'm hanging my head in shame. There's Miracle Whip in the fridge and I've been known to use all-in-one shampoo/conditioner products.
How do you come up with this stuff?

Welcome back!

Sornie said...

My theory, in case you were wondering, is that June Bugs are just lazy. There, I said it.

Sornie said...

My theory, in case you were wondering, is that June Bugs are just lazy. There, I said it.

VE said...

megan - Sounds like your Dad is the non-standard model too. Lucky you!

alex - Miracles come in a jar because they are more recyclable than the plastic version

beth - Oh no, you'll need a 4 step program toward redemption. Any more steps and you're actually on a stair master...

sornie - Then they are my new role model!

Quickroute said...

Good to have you back!
I love to travel but hate the whole airport waiting experience. it's about time they invented the teleport pod!

VE said...

quickroute - I'm with you on the teleport thing...boy would that ever change the world.

RED MOJO said...

Couldn't agree more on the lame Father's Day card selection. My dad doesn't drink, watch or play sports, or say "pull my finger" so I have to make my own frickin card!

VE said...

red mojo - Sounds like a business in the making!

Annie Ha said...

I recently had a lengthy conversation with my friend's dad, in which he informed me that his wife and daughter had only just convinced him that he should only wear black socks with his tevas. apparently they took what they could get...

VE said...

annie - Nobody should ever have to be convinced to wear black socks with Tevas. That is just wrong!

Yes, my name is Arizona said...

I don't care what June bugs do the other 11 months. l'm just thankful I only have to put up with them one month a year. They are so disgusting! My brothers used to pretend like they were going to eat them and it always grossed me out.

VE said...

arizona - Do they taste minty? ha ha Yeah, bugs are disgusting.