Thursday, June 05, 2008

Net Ball is for Girls

Now before you go bashing me on the title, try to fight your two line attention span and read on (kidding…I know you place ALL my posts on your refrigerator for quick reference).

Today’s post request comes from Mr. Farty who wants to know the difference between basketball and net ball because they look the same to him.

Well Mr. Farty, that is a damn good question because I had no idea net ball even existed until you asked. But VE has a good research team and has discovered:

- They have the same roots in that it was derived directly from basketball to allow women of the time to participate in a similar sport.

- The problem with women playing actual basketball is that the proper clothing of the day wasn’t the thong sport suit that women wear playing professional beach volleyball today; you know, the one that guys watch JUST to see their thong suit and buns sweating out in the hot sun. No, the dress attire for sporting women of the day was something like this:

Now to prove that indeed it was not possible to play proper basketball we asked former great Michael Jordon to don said vintage dress and attempt some basketball play. It wasn’t pretty…

According to our research chart wizard, its simple mathematics as you can see here:

That’s right; a player’s arms were just not sufficiently long enough to clear said dress and actually be able to dribble. So they had to make different rules. Instead of dribbling in net ball, they essentially just pass and/or shoot.

As to Mr. Farty’s original comment on not being able to tell the difference….sure other than the fact that they cannot dribble or run with the ball, that only two positions can shoot, that each position has specific zones to stay in, these visuals will help to show that indeed, there are differences between basketball and net ball:

The ball:
The hoop:
Where it is played:
And there you have it. It's an Olympic sport, it's a professional sport and it's for girls.

43 comments:

Jacki said...

LOL...

And yes, the ONLY reason women's volleyball is a sport is so that men can watch young, presumably fit, good-looking women run around the beach in a thong. Because it is rather deadly boring to watch otherwise.

Jeff said...

So what does the champion team win... a "D" Cup?

Rowr.

Bee said...

Blech! Just another freakin' *sport* I have to ignore.

I used to play volley ball and did wonder why our fans were mostly men. Maybe we should not worn the bikinis.

Not that we would have palyed naked so get yo head outta the gutter. ;op

angie said...

Wow. Learn something new everyday.

RED MOJO said...

Holy Crap! What a dumb-ass sport. Why don't think make wet-nursing an Olympic sport too!
I thought I was the only one who watched women's beach volleyball for that reason!

Megan said...

Men's beach volleyball ain't hard for me to watch, that's for sure.

Love that picture of Jordan. Surprised that trend never caught on!

Kurt said...

Helen Keller could tell the difference between two different SIZE things.

lime said...

you forgot the necessity of corsets back in the day. try to keep chugging through a game when yer innards are all squeezed.

damon said...

I thought 'net' ball was what was left from 'gross' ball after taxes.

...and who doesn't love 'gross ball'?

leelee said...

I vote this the #1 most informative blog...EVER!

WHO KNEW??

hugs!

Chris C said...

I think Helen Keller would be able to tell the difference. She just wouldn't be able to tell anyone else.

Mother Theresa said...

Never heard of it. With you I learn something new every day. So, do the Olympic teams have to wear those dresses?

Alan Smithee said...

Alan Smithee knows of no films containing scenes of net ball.

Mr Farty said...

Mmmm naked volleyball...

VE said...

jacki - Of course I clearly watch it only for the exciting sport competition...

jeff - You are so bad....why didn't I think of that?

bee - I'm not saying you played naked volleyball...I'm just trying to visualize it. ha ha

angie - And that is scary to think that MY blog would provide any sort of educational content...

red mojo - You mean wet nursing isn't an Olympic sport??

megan - Checking out the men in men's volleyball...why I'm shocked! Are we just a piece of meat? ha ha What about our ability to take out the garbage and mow the lawn? What about our knowledge of sport statistics?

kurt - Not when she's dead! Just sayin'....

lime - Yeah, no kidding. That's probably what killed Elvis really.

damon - Ha! Only accountants and tax attorneys play both of those sports though.

leelee - Pretty scary huh? I wonder if I qualify for a government grant based on education...

chris c - It's a trick question though...she's dead....

mother theresa - That would be funny if they still mandated the dresses. I'm secretly hoping they wear the beach volleyball thong attire personally...

VE said...

alan smithee - Well then that is difinitive enough for me. They must have been outed as a potential communist sport somewhere along the way...

mr. farty - It's all about you today, my friend; it was your request. You just keep visualizing Bee playing naked volleyball. ha ha

Bee said...

To further fan the flames...

I've been told I'm a cross between Catherine Zeta Jones, Drew Barrymore and Lars Ulrich. One of thosee might kill the fantasy. ;op

VE said...

bee - I'm very, very, very, very tempted to provide a photoshop rendering of that before the next post. ha ha ha. You might be saved through my general laziness. Might.

Theresa said...

Maybe thong uniforms are the only reason Curling isn't a more popular sport.

cathouse teri said...

That was very informative! I love learning new things!

I especially liked the statement that you will realize the difference the first time you try a bank shot.

(Jeff's comment was especially clever. Yay Jeff! Oh, and Chris C's was pretty smart, too. But your response was even smarter. Yay you!)

VE said...

theresa - LOL. You're right. Hockey already packs 'em in for violence. Curling could pack 'em in for sex! And we all know what nipples do when it is cold...bonus!

teri - Thanks. We should really be thanking Mr. Farty though for it was his curiosity that set the research in motion!

justacoolcat said...

If I had to choose, I'd choose Baseketball.

VE said...

justacoolcat - Are you openly admitting you've seen this movie??!!

Serena Joy said...

My athletic abilities are showing -- I've never heard of Net Ball. I like Michael's blue dress, though.:)

Quickroute said...

women play sport? - well I never! - they'll be able to vote next! ;-)

VE said...

sj - Yes, Michael even looks good in a blue dress, doesn't he?

quickroute - Dude...you're on your own. Careful...my readers will attack if provoked. See, I rarely provoke them because they know I'm stupid and juvinile...you, however, are open to ridicule and attack...at least until they conclude you are stupid and juvinile...

Lakota said...

"net ball only played in the islands, no escape" - laughing so hard i can barely type....

lovely pic of Mike by the way.

QUICKIE!!!!! ~gasp~
{{rearranging his place in my mental hierarchy... somewhere below brimstone}}

Beth said...

I managed to get beyond my two line attention span and read until the very end...
I'll have you know I played basketball - in my floor length gown - and did very well.
(Okay, I occasionally tripped...)

VE said...

lakota - I know; I tried to warn him...ha ha...I should have known you'd be on him like...well...like lakota!!! ha ha

Quickroute said...

I was just craving a spanking! - and well i think I'm gonna get one or two after this!

The Offended Blogger said...

Both games are for sissies!

I only watch Rugby, Hockey and Scottish caber tossing.

Now those are games for REAL men. :)

EmmaK said...

Net ball was invented by pervs who wanted to watch young girls wearing tiny netball skirts (or at least that was the case at my school)

VE said...

quickroute - You want, you got it

offended - Those are sissy sports too. I only participate in bull ride jousting, Roman gladiator events, and ice motorcycle cage wrestling...

emmak - You didn't happen to go to a Catholic school by chance?

she said...

wilson!!!!!!!!!

VE said...

she - Ha! Good one. That did take place on an island so it qualifies...

Yes, my name is Arizona said...

I had no idea there was such a thing as net ball. I'd totally watch if they played in those dresses. It would be the height of talent.

VE said...

beth - How'd I miss your comment? I'm impressed you could play in formal attire!

arizona - Doing ANYTHING in those dresses is impressive!

colbymarshall said...

I think I might watch more basketball if the NBA players wore those dresses...

Maureen said...

Jeff went "Rowr"!!!!

ROTFL!!!!

Kurt said...

Touché.

VE said...

colby - It would be entertaining; might give a whole new meaning to the definition of pump shoes...

maureen - I can't stop Jeff from doing these kind of things. He's got free reign over here and he's pretty clever...

kurt - Wow. A very, very rare second comment. I feel so priveleged. I was hoping you weren't rereading the comments; that way I could say whatever I wanted about you...

Alex L said...

Difference between Netball and Basketball, Netball is fun. Yeah thats right, Netball is fun! Honestly.

VE said...

alex - Sure it is...and I have some property in Waluna to sell you...